I was super angry until I got to the banana part and then I realised that the world actually *is* a good place despite all the cuntiness.

True, true, true and true. Brilliant.

Ahhh! Wonderful.

My friend rented a cinema for her 30th so we could watch this. It was AMAZING. I had no idea how hilarious it is, because my childhood memory of it is that it was terrifying. So, so, so good.

I went upstairs at a Swarovski shop once and sat on a crystal-covered sofa that apparently costs £60,000.

I was taught to deflect compliments growing up in England, then told off a lot for "not knowing how to take a compliment" in California. My friends would actually get angry about me being "so down on myself". I think I'm now comfortably in between the two, which means my (English) mum now thinks that I'm "full of…

Also, I just remembered that my (American) husband tries to say "fire" like me and it's hilarious. He just can't make his mouth do that.

On the other hand, I find my friends tiny kids even cuter because of their American accents!

It's funny how some bits you can adapt to but others you can't… after years in California some of my words had slid towards sounding pretty American ("pretty" sounds a bit like "priddy" when I say it now, even though I'm back home in London) but others ("water", for example) were just too different to ever get even…

(I always dressed like a pale English photographer carrying too much stuff and wearing sensible shoes. But my friends would put a lot of thought and shopping time into their Coachella outfits. It's the social weekend of the year for them.)

I never, ever dressed like a super adorable hippie when at Coachella. Plenty of the girls who dress like super adorable hippies at Coachella actually dress that way all the time but just add a few more feathers. There were so many girls dressing that way around LA a few years ago (one of my friends memorably used the…

I sometimes worry that I will fuck up my future kids by talking to them like I talk to everyone else.

Yep. My friends do this all the time.

When I was really little I thought that girls had tummies and boys had bellies and adults had stomachs. (Totally tangential, but my friend's toddler recently said that he's "not a boy" because "boys have willies and I have a princess".)

I was trying to buy an underwear set in Los Angeles a few months ago and they had the bra and the suspender belt on display but not the knickers.

I love that "reckon" makes people think of westerns. I say it all the time and never thought anything of it (except that it's a bit more casual than "suppose", I suppose) but then I went to America and suddenly people thought I was charming for it.

Americans thought I was crazy for saying cunt as much as I do. It's not at all unusual in my London life, but in LA they though I was just really wild.

I used to have a hard time being understood in the US because I'm English… My name always got mangled because my surname ends in an R but my pronunciation makes it sounds like there's no R to people who are used to rhotic accents (plus, I had to learn that hardly anyone understood me when I said "surname"). Most…

Restroom is far too euphemistic and American for me, but I don't really say toilet, either. I've always just said loo, I think.

And, my American friends enjoyed the English phrase "bum a fag" very much.