Teen Mom is my guilty pleasure show that I am way too old to watch but if Bristol is on it, I'm done. There are depths to which even I won't sink.

Under Ohio law, strippers are not allowed to touch patrons—unless it’s a family member.

We are going to meet at the library. There is a zero chance Trumpistani will discover us.

god, those tweets, they are physically painful. are we really supposed to spend tomorrow celebrating the stupid fucking country that can elect that piece of garbage president?

Michelle Obama would never have worn that.  Michelle Obama has brains and class.  fuck this bitch.

None of that shit is going to happen, except the not breastfeeding part.

You know, saying I’m petty for being irritated by his Twitter presence this week (and in general) is fair enough. But brushing off the Amy Winehouse corpse as “Dead celebrities are a thing at Halloween” is a little weird to me?

My parents knew each other for two weeks before they got married. They were married for 66 years.

Middle aged is always 10 years older than you are right now. No matter what age you are right now.

See: OMG IS JENNIFER ANNISTON EVER GOING TO HAVE A KID OR FIND TRUE LOVE?

(She’s famous, beautiful and rich. Pretty sure she’s doing OK.)

Even though SATC is hailed for being groundbreaking, I still view it as a pretty conservative show when it comes to being single. None of the women seem to be genuinely happy while they are single, except for Samantha, and even she had a few breakdowns whenever she was alone and had nobody to unzip a dress, undo a…

A whole bunch of women came forward separately to tell basically the same story. If you really believe that’s a conspiracy you’re just a moron.

Yeah maybe the fucking picture of it happening isn’t real lmao 

Oh fuck off, Dana.

So the whole “missed warning signs” thing makes no sense when you’re *also* blaming the victims for avoiding the kid waving more red flags than a Chinese military parade. Remember, the classmates are supposed to ignore their natural instincts and make nice with the creepy kid or else they’re “bullies” who brought…

::looks at nav, sees ‘jezebel’::

Yes, it’s best for our society and for the children of these incarcerated women that they be allowed to spend the first year together in the prison nurseries. That being said, can we quit pretending that felony murderers are somehow sympathetic figures? They may not have pulled the trigger but they are responsible for…

Well, I can kind of see it from the other side. Sexual assault is common in jail. So I’m guessing prohibiting inmates from touching one another is an effort, in the officials eyes, to reduce claims that someone was touched without their consent. Also inmates allowing contact between inmates would definitely increase…

I can see both sides here and while I sympathise for transwomen in this situation, it is being caused by the behaviour of natal men being violent and aggressive towards them, yet the solution is that vulnerable natal women are expected to shut up and move over despite feeling uncomfortable sharing facilities with…

This is an argument for oversight in prisons so men do not get raped at all.