Bullshit.

My oldest nephew’s birth video is sort of hilarious. After he came out, nobody thought to turn off the camera, so there’s a very long sequence that just consists of an off-camera somebody’s hands slowly pulling and tugging on the umbilical cord still spooling out of my sis-in-law’s crotch. Finally, the afterbirth pops…

I am currently addicted to exactly three shows with current episodes: Game of Thrones, Gotham, and Bates Motel. The last of the three, which I watch on A&E’s proprietary channel, which sucks balls and makes me want to torrent the show illegally, has a bunch of commercials for a special app you can download that is…

My folks are juuuuuuuuuuust prior to baby boomers; technically, they’re WWII babies - 1940 and 1942. My mother still has her milk ration book from her infancy. I’m in my thirties; they were just pretty old when they had me.

For me, that moment was in junior high when my mother told me about a boyfriend she had in her twenties (before my dad!). She was a small-town public school teacher, and had to go to the next town over if she wanted to go out on a date or have a drink in public. She was in a bar, dancing with her boyfriend at the time…

Well, this is at 20 weeks or more, so more, like . . . a good-sized banana.

Well, Madonna says it didn’t. Is there a reason you think she’s a liar, rather than a biographer who refers to “official documents” they never produce and didn’t fucking ask her about it?

I am sort of fascinated by the way “mentally retarded” has become entrenched in legislation: In Georgia, for example, you can plea “guilty but mentally retarded.” And no one’s done much about it - and I kind of feel like, well, that makes sense, whatever replacement you come up with is going to be offensive again in a…

I would laugh my goddamned tits off.

I have absolutely had a (university-level) classroom where I felt like eighteen students were on the verge of ripping apart a nineteenth like a pack of angry dogs. It was, in essence, a miscommunication over something he said, but they wouldn’t let him explain himself until I waded in with a metaphorical cricket bat…

I read Dianetics (so you don’t have to!) and was really startled by the amount of misogyny in it. Basically, Hubbard seems to think that every woman ever probably tried to self-abort their baby, and your mom having done that to you is the reason you’re not perfect. Also the fact that she probably allowed your father…

I know!

I’m . . . well, picture Bea Arthur, only young and with shorter hair. I am an unusually tall woman with a deep rumble of a voice. I like my weird, deep voice. I’ve also been threatened because people assumed I was a transwoman being places I wasn’t supposed to be.

So, how different would this be from Dick, a film which explained Nixon’s last presidential years as a result of him being perpetually stoned?

Well . . . it’s not like this is a zero-sum game. My Brother’s Keeper is aimed at boys and young men of color - but improving circumstances for them doesn’t worsen them for their female counterparts. A rising tide lifts all boats.

I have some sympathy just because meningitis can be a sneaky disease; it can happen that you have a kid that you think is just being whiny about having a cold or the flu, and then things escalate to a shocking degree. There are LOTS of heartbreaking stories about children who died because their parents just didn’t see…

Let’s take a family member - I’m sure we all have that family member(s). The curmudgeon who speaks his/her mind, and isn’t afraid to offend with their biased and bigoted views. How do you change this person’s views?

I was going to say, this looks something like some of the Christian seder meals I dimly remember going to as a child. I was very young; mostly what I remember is tasting horseradish for the first time and being very unhappy about it.

I think it’s a thing where men fight for dominance; women fight to survive. Even if we assume that’s encultured, rather than biological, I think it explains a lot. As a woman/girl, you “don’t fight,” so when you find yourself in a situation where you’re doing so, your brain tells you that you absolutely have to keep…

That guy is going to be facing a lot of court charges for assaults on janitorial staff.