I work in a university campus building that, outside the main floor men’s restroom, has a permanent sign saying to alert campus security if you see someone who doesn’t belong there.

I absolutely understand this mindset. The justification (as is mentioned repeatedly in the article) is that much of the Honor Code is about safety, and that to change it would result in less safety for everyone. So the surface justification for the Honor Board reviews is not moral judgment, it is saying that students…

I once tried to pet a big and curious cat outside my house when I was getting home at around midnight in pitch darkness, and it screamed in rage, then ran into the sewer, because it was a fucking raccoon.

My regular 45-minute commute to a previous job in the Colorado hogbacks made me hate large wild animals so much.

FUCK NO.

Now, now. Do you know how often you have to breast-feed a 22-year-old who is still getting most of his nutrition from Mommy? It’s heroic that he gets any work done at all.

As someone who has seen every episode, let me assure you that the show is utter shit at this point and I am just watching it because every time I see Robert Carlyle I remember how awesome he was as an insane cannibal in Ravenous.

So . . . which one is going to die, now?

My state has a thing where you can look up your ballot online before you go in, and I usually make sure I look up all the races and initiatives and so forth and then run to the polling place before I forget.

You know, I only just realized that I’ve never seen Matilda. I sort of assumed I had, but I was thinking of The Witches.

Is encouraging underage heavy consumption of vodka rad? I can never tell with the kids these days, any more.

My impression is that there are basically two kinds of actors who do terrible Christian movies:

I know a bunch of Yiddish; I just don’t really know much Hebrew. And I’m emphatically not Jewish in either a cultural or religious sense; my theological education has been heavily Christian, which also tends to include the Torah, though not the Talmud, so I’m lost there.

Out of curiosity, do you consider yourself to be a moral person?

See, I’d like to have an orgasm. So Justin Bieber v. my experienced right hand?

I’m sort of fascinated by Dawson. She has one of those “old Hollywood” discovery stories - she was just sitting around her neighborhood when she was pulled to be in the weird spectacle that was Harmony Korine’s Kids. I always feel like she doesn’t quite know what she wants to do with success - and I am always curious…

I once inserted a menstrual cup after chopping jalapenos and doing a sub-par job of washing my hands.

As a card-carrying member of the Satanic Temple, I would like to mildly and politely remind you that the Satanic Temple is not the same thing as the Church of Satan. The former are the people who do things like organize Satanic literature handouts in public schools; the latter are . . . well. They’re not. If someone…

Where I went to undergrad - at a very small religious college - we didn’t play “beer pong,” we played “Beirut.” (Because you were “bombing” the other side. It was a joke in terrible taste that I didn’t really understand until after I had graduated.)

Are you kidding? They’re just jizzing their pants because they’ve finally figured out a way to incarcerate minority women at the same rate that the War on Drugs let them lock up non-white men.