“It’s the dangerous new game the kids are doing these days. They take turns playing choking themselves and hitting each other with their daddy’s copy of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue until someone throws up. That’s called getting a slam dunk.”

That actually makes me happy.

I always thought of golf as sport’s most prominent symbol of anti-Semitism.

This makes a lot more sense in the UK, where “video nasties” were often outright banned, and these old VHS tapes were essentially contraband, so they’re particularly hard to find.

I eat chicken wings with a fork because that way I can keep one hand clean.

Save me from all the Christmas trees, Kiefer!

This is nonsensical to me. It was a single-occupancy restroom. There should have been no reason for another person to be in there, period, regardless of sex or gender. Why would it being a women’s single-occupancy restroom have made the slightest bit of difference to a creeper walking in there?

Um, wow, no, that never happened.

I once commented to a friend that she and her boyfriend looked surprisingly alike (same glasses, same basic haircut/color). She said, “Yeah, sometimes we tell people we’re siblings and just start making out.”

I’m sorry, but I get rankled every time Sanders is described as just another white guy.

My current town has a pretty successful rental place that’s kept alive by a student population and a bunch of hipsters. I haven’t been there recently because I returned Woman in Black late and I owe them money, but last time I was there, they still had some actual VHS tapes for movies they didn’t have on DVD/Blu-Ray.…

If it makes you feel better, one of the employees at the Family Video in my college town had a pierced thumb(!), told me he ended up in the city because he woke up in the dumpster behind Wal-Mart and just decided to stay, and aggressively hit on me.

I have that weird, crazy thing on VHS, taped off of public television and over a pirated copy of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.

Find me a single anti-vaxx mother who fully supports telling other parents that her children are unvaccinated, has a system for doing so, and encourages the parents of other unvaccinated parents to do so.

This sounds a lot like Kate Bornstein’s very funny story about how she went to a speech therapist to learn how to “talk like a woman” when she was transitioning. She ultimately found the whole experience totally demeaning, and went home in tears. Her roommate asked her what the problem was, and Bornstein told her all…

I’m permanently flexible; my ligaments are all fucked up. Babies are born with flexible ligaments and they’re supposed to firm up when you’re a toddler.

I agree with the screening. Anti-vaxxers are people who thrive on any perceived slight against their practices.

You don’t understand just how fucking stupid this bill is.

I respect her decision. It is her choice to determine whether her life or her suffering is unbearable.

When I was a public library employee, my favorite ever damaged book was a water-bloated copy of “Recovering after Floods.”