I like that the Pages seem to have made every effort to ensure that Lexi’s removal was as traumatic as possible for her.

No, see, the Catholic Church allows use of contraceptive medication for non-contraceptive purposes (i.e., you can take birth control for endometriosis if you are chaste). So, really, these nuns had three options:

“Najim Laachraoui”

Well, at some point they’re going to have to deal with the horrifying fact that Heidi Cruz is a woman who has reapeatedly fucked Ted Cruz. I don’t know how they’re going to recover from that.

Payoffs from “Big Pharma,” is my understanding.

Easily explained. The senator in question:

I once saw a guy slap a police horse in the chest and be immediately arrested while protesting drunkenly that he was “Just trying to give it a high-five.”

I feel the pain of the academic job market.

Maybe they had Shep Smith write it.

“We got us a fine breeder bitch here!”

I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan was too busy doing something else to grope Kate Nash in her bathroom.

Having heard Mandy Patinkin’s imitation of Al Jolson doing “Mammy,” I would not rule out the possibility of him putting on an actual live minstrel show.

I do have some sympathy for the schools here, which have much more limitations than the universities involved. They don’t even have school nurses - they sure as shit don’t, as universities often do, have Title IX offices who knows what all the options are when they’re faced with problems like these. PLUS they have the…

I legitimately love some weird celebrity commercials. I fucking love listening to Donald Sutherland’s dulcet tones purring to me about orange juice. I refuse to believe that man desperately needs money, I want to believe he just loves orange juice that much.

So they all joined a good ol’ boys club where they could sit around and jerk off at how much they like bullying homosexuals, women, and religious minorities, and it turned out to be run by a bully?

Man, if I’m ever in a tug-of-war game, I am so picking “The team with Leslie Jones.”

You’re demanding banning books while still saying your opinion shouldn’t be criticized?

My dad’s from Queens, and yet somehow - SOMEHOW - he’s managed to live his life without saying he would pay the legal fees for anyone who wanted to beat the shit out of someone who disagrees with his views.

Now, if only Jezebel had a writer who specializes in food/service work. Who was named Pinkham and hadn’t been let go.

I just learned that my mother is a bad tipper. Like, she doesn’t refuse to tip, but she always does exactly ten percent. She’s generally a good person, and I think her lousy tipping is mostly because she’s in her seventies and behind the times. I see her like once a year, and I’m not sure how to talk to her about…