It’s very thoughtful of them to include the bit at the beginning where they say no disrespect is intended towards any women. I now know exactly how to frame my folk ballad, “Hangin’ all the Niggers.”

There’s a prof at my institution who made the news after he attempted to hook up with a thirteen-year-old in a parking lot, and whose defense was that he was “just trying to safely about sex.” One of his colleagues, who’s been here for like a million years, told me that the real reason he’s in jail now wasn’t the sex…

But, while you’d never criticize the games, you’d be sure to criticize anyone who found fault with them, yes?

Can we get a callout for “shitty cars you miss”? That car that was so good some way(s) that you still grieve it, even though it was actively making your life hell.

Can we finally agree to slit the throat of the Great Whore that is the Roman Catholic church?

Ha, wow. Okay, I read the headline too fast and totally thought this was another story, the one in which the German guy helping refugees lied his ass off about taking a dying one to his house because the guy couldn’t get through the intake center in time.

What we know suggests that he may have met the victim through their mutual female friend; his suggestion that they cover up the crime together may have been suggestion enough for her to agree.

I fucking hate you so much for making me laugh at this story.

In response, the Roman Catholic primate of the country has vowed to hold down every single one of those murderous whores and fuck them until they breed again.

Short answer: No.

Yeah, I understand that there might be very good reasons why this decision was so long in coming. Pregnant women are already subject to so much heavy scrutiny that, for many, being subject to mental health screenings like this may be more stressful than helpful.

My entire experience of Pittsburgh is limited to learning to hate it in The Last of Us, so I’m just surprised she wasn’t eviscerated and then set on fire.

I used to own a YA novel called Tessie that was written by a guy named, I shit you not, Jesse Jackson. It was about a black girl who wins a scholarship to a mostly-white private school. I totally wish I hadn’t gotten rid of it in one of my book purges a few years ago. It had a whole weird sequence in which Tessie’s…

The hippie granola grocery co-op I’m a member of just did a huge remodel that included three gender-neutral, single-stall bathrooms. Some people freaked the fuck out, which was very confusing to me. There were women, specifically, who were absolutely outraged at the prospect of having to use the same bathroom as men -…

I always associated American Eagle with my mother forcibly dragging me there on shopping trips when I was in high school, but I’ll be damned if Aerie doesn’t make some excellent underwear.

In one of my many work incarnations, I was Worst Nanny Ever for an eleven-year-old boy. It wasn’t actually my job - I was told I would get some money for it but never did - but one of my housemates had me look after her kid during the day for a couple of months. I immediately discovered that his mother had never…

I bought that fucking weird TV show the second it was available on DVD. The last four episodes or so (when they found out the show had been cancelled and were wrapping it all up) are a train wreck, but I’m still a little in love with the show. I have watched some of the worst shit just because it had actors from Americ…

He should absolutely do the whole thing looking like this:

“God, we already know Obama just fakes tears whenever it’s convenient! If he really cared about anything black women do, he’d ban the black holocaust of abortion and do something about all the dead black teenagers in Chicago!”