My father once mailed me a copy of Playboy. I had mentioned on the phone that I wanted to read something in the current issue and was thinking about buying a copy, which is how I found out he had a subscription. Thanks, Dad, that wasn’t totally fucking horrifying in any way.

“Hold on, I always have a speculum in my purse for occasions just like this! We’ll see in just a jiffy!”

I’m gonna go rewatch House of Wax nostalgically.

In my thirteen years of apartment life, the only time I’ve had a dishwasher was when I was living in the basement of an actual house. Where the hell do you live, for dishwashers to be standard and not a luxury?

My current one-bedroom place doesn’t have a light in the main/living room, though it does have a number of confusing light switches that don’t appear to actually control any outlets.

Will the subplot revolve around Rousey’s distaste for transwomen, or her Sandy Hook truther tendencies?

If she genuinely thinks Trump has a good economic policy, she is dumb as shit.

I loved him in Bored to Death, and a line from that show is how I always think of him now: “like a buff Samuel Beckett.”

She’s totally zoned out and fantasizing about pistol-whipping Geraldine Ferraro.

I was just old enough to watch the show when it first aired and understand/appreciate it. Until I rewatched the whole thing on Netflix . . . last year, I think . . . I had forgotten about all the times the show implied that Mulder spends like 85% of his off-screen time watching porn and masturbating like a crazed…

Dillon: “We’re still getting our shit together.”

I hope they keep it, just because it’s so breathtakingly nutso. I would, however, also support a replacement image in which the wrestling scene is poorly redrawn by a local artist and ends up being unintentionally and hilariously homoerotic.

Big Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: The Martian

If you succeed at not being a woman, then don’t end up incarcerated.

Someone I knew in grad school has been teaching there for ten years. She seemed sort of superficially okay when I knew her, but I think there has to be something fundamentally flawed about you when you have decided to devote your career to a place where you can be fired for doubting doctrine. I know when I applied to…

Yeah, I was confused by that, too. Apparently spousal privilege doesn’t apply if the case in question involves a legal contract between spouses (like, say, a prenuptual agreement, which makes sense). Because Camille was also Cosby’s business manager, their conversations in which she was acting as his legal manager are…

To boot, it sounds as though it’s a five-year-old still in diapers. Something ain’t right there.

I read that book in fifth grade, as part of the “advanced” reading group. One of my clearest memories of that year is my teacher reading aloud a section without apparently remembering everything that was in it, and breaking into hysterical laughter when she got to a description of Sammy’s “tiny penis bobbing up and…

So petty on UO’s part. Literally all they would need to do is change the name of the merchandise in question to “Southwestern print” and they could be free of the problem.

The Ugly One with the Jewels, Laurie Anderson, is a goddamned amazing soul who’s better than we deserve. I’ve been lucky enough to see her twice in concert, and both performances were amazing.