I guess there wasn't enough room to write, "Breathe Easy- Don't Break the Law, Or Walk Down The Street, Or Drive a Car, Or Ask Questions, or Mind Your Own Business, or Be Black."

"I am very worried that administration concern for external crime is replacing concern for internal crime. The greater problem is date rape, or assaults by other students, which the planned system would do nothing to stop."

1. Drinking Fountain

People are accidentally racist all the time—how they react when called out is a huge indicator of character.

Any Ayn Rand books on his bookshelf, liking Dave Matthews Band, dirty dishes in his sink, and considering Infinite Jest his favorite novel (no one actually reads a book that has that many footnotes).

Saying "I don't know what's wrong with you, my last three girlfriends got off from three minutes of missionary."

What if I told you I knew a way?

I'm so conflicted about this. Because, on one hand, I hate doxxing and I think it's scary to invade people's privacy and sometimes people get it wrong (like, remember when they released the name of the officer who shot Mike Brown and it was totally the wrong dude?) So there's that. But on the other hand, I think about…

I would not have shot Noah because he said "please" when forcing Daryl to turn over his crossbow. We're still in the south, people. Etiquette goes a long way. J/K, I would have totally shot him, but only in his hurt leg. Team Carol on that issue (if I actually believed she would have just shot him in the leg,…

The first two words of the headline work just fine on their own. Every day. For almost every story.

Personally, I've declared a War on Black Friday. It's bad enough that it's starts Thursday at 5 fucking pm now, throw in employers keeping workers perpetually underemployed as a form of manipulation, and acting like they should be grateful to get these extra hours, while people kill each other fighting over shitty…

Don't forget the boy from Hook! Went on to act in teen houseparty classic "Can't Hardly Wait," then quit to became a successful lawyer. Or as Grandma Wendy would say, "Why Jack, you've become a pirate."

Sooo you're looking for volunteers??

Wait, you're saying that because I'm 34 I don't count as young anymore? damn you erin!

I'm sorry. I did what I could. I told my friends to vote. I delivered voter registration papers to someone's hospital room. I took someone to vote. I talked to even one of my most conservative friends about why it was important to vote No one 1. God I'm so angry, disgusted, and frustrated right now. There are many…

Normal people don't take the M, duh.

I just want to see how ridiculous Fox News will get with this War on XMas (it's XMas, not Christmas). Their anger is sooo delicious....

You missed the part where I said it's not difficult to make money when you are already rich. I guess we should pat them on the back for not being pieces of shit that blew their father's money, right?

Pic or it didn't happen. This is eerily similar to a story from last year.

I have about five true "ghost" stories, and all of them suck. No flaming eyeballs, no rolling heads, no faceless children jumping out from the storage closet under the stairs. This one is a two-parter, and the parts are probably only as related as mud and water: