I just wanted to get on top of his toes.

Absolutely nobody is saying he is. We’re saying that we had the chance to avoid this, but we decided to nominate the most hated Democrat in the United States. The DNC and Democrats in general had the hubris to nominate such a fundamentally divisive person and still expect them to win. That is what we’re saying.

The rule book says two different things.

This isn’t ‘Nam. There are rules

Yeah, but I’ve heard the University of Kentucky isn’t all that fun to play at.

I’d make a Washington Foreskins joke, but it doesn’t seem apropos, based on the photo.

The good thing is they aren’t stuck with this failing business model for an entire season, they can choose a new one everyday!

After the fiasco in Buffalo, Jon Bon Jovi is determined to win over the fans’ support this time. He’s even agreed to sing at Steve McNair’s Number retirement ceremony.

You give jokes a bad name.

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

How the fuck does a Vikings fan from Minnesota get off calling the Bills fanbase “the drunkenest, whitest fanbase possible”? I don’t know who has the championship trophy for whitest drunks, but it’s sure as hell a team from the NFC North.

(Bills fans might be the most racist, though. Especially those methed out…

Sure, the alternate version is Deadspin.com/Foodspin-cum-ass-titty-fuck-jizzbomb-blackcock

That should work, right?

I have season tickets to two professional sports teams, MLB and NHL, and have had both sets of seats for over a decade. One of the greatest joys is kicking people out of my seats.

Shut your damn mouth. Self Checkout is the greatest thing in the world, because it allows you to buy embarrassing as shit without having to face a judgemental cashier. They took out all the self checkout aisles from my CVS and I wanted to punch a child in the stomach. So now I have to buy several other things so…

Well, now he has a record, and he’ll probably be fired. So there you go.

I’m not sure how helpful this is going to be. Canadians all look the same to me, with their beady little eyes and flappin’ heads full of lies.

I HATE having to buy a new vacuum every year or two!

The music was also interesting: from Black Hole Sun being played on the piano to Paint it Black as the music during the gunfight scene in town.

While it’s good to know about these rules so you don’t waste your time, I’m not crying over them. If these rules didn’t exist we would start to see sign up bonuses and rewards programs decline in value over time solely because of the 1% of credit card holders who game the system.

On the other hand...