Also the average net worth of the new U.S. Senate is slightly over $1 million dollars, so, there's that too.

I'm technically 40. But I vote like a 25 year-old. Does that count?

that hole will always be there

You know what will make you feel better? Premarital, slutty sex.

Could we maybe not be equating this to incestuous rape? You're bringing up something that's triggering to a fair few people without any particularly good reason. I'm not trying to be at all mean here, just pointing out why it's kind of a bad idea.

If such a hero existed my dad would have been deaf by the time I was 10

I wish there was a superhero who swooped in and blew a loud airhorn and held up a full length illuminated mirror at crusty old men whenever they dole out a "joking" insults about a young woman's body, especially their daughters'.

I don't think I've ever looked at anyone, not even my fiancé, with as much as love as this man is looking at his spaghetti.

Good for him! If you're going to buy something like the Endless Pasta Pass, you might as well enjoy the hell out of it.

The GM and the waitress seem pretty charmed by him, so I can't imagine he's screwing them over. (I don't want to believe that Alan would do such a thing!)

In his dotage, my father started feeling free to comment on the women in his life who were fat or getting fat. I ignored him or groaned at him or cried in private for a while. Finally, I was driving his almost-blind ass somewhere when he mentioned that the broken seatbelt in his car wouldn't work "because you're too…

"I better hurry and tell all the ladies in the world what my penis thinks of them, so they can base their self-worth around it! You're welcome, ladies."

Omg where do I begin with this? So this proves his whole "my private life is private" Facebook post was bullshit because HE SHOWED HIS BOSSES VIDEO OF HIM ABUSING AND FUCKING WOMEN. Are you kidding me? Also, this is probably what "Big Ears Teddy" was REALLY used for. I hope this finally shuts the skeptics up. There's…

Thank fucking god for Sandra Hale. There's one actual adult looking out for the children, who cares about their well-being and safety. Jesus Fucking Christ, this gets worse by the day.

Really?

Why would anyone be mad? They should feel lucky that they aren't having to go through what this woman is.

Exactly. It's her choice, still. And that was the point all along.

You know what? I ain't even mad, unlike some of the people on my Facebook.

I feel weird that I'm so worked up about this, but I really wish celebs would own their plastic surgery.

I want to believe that it's makeup, but if she was just drawing her lips on wouldn't there be less space between her lip and nose? Look at the photographic evidence: