You may not have been rich, sir/ma'am, but congratulations to you anyway for overcoming that by doubling down on the "obnoxious" aspect.

Can someone define "Caucasian-rumped" for me?

Butter, onion, white pepper, flower, milk, beef stock, salt, and nutmeg. Delicious.

How far can you punt an investigation?

How far can you punt a football?

Yeah, I'm not sure if MLS has fined or suspended anyone this year for diving. Then again, Freddy Montero no longer plays for the Sounders so dives have dropped approximately 83%.

However, the Disciplinary Committee is a great concept and at least there is a procedure for retroactively punishing harsh tackles not…

Bingo.

Brother Jimmy's is a NY chain. Miami is just one of their locations.

Perfect when he comes back around, and doesn't dwell on "grr arrgh"-type rhetoric. I love his commitment to writing about soccer.

So I went back and read through the doom-and-gloom of your Will U.S. Soccer Destroy Itself Before World Cup Qualifying Is Through? article, and it reads like a Dan Shaunessy piece. This, on the other hand, is probably the working draft for the new Terminator film.

I don't like liking something Leno did.

He went to Chelsea because Kia Joorabchian is his representative and demanded higher agent fees than anyone else bar Chelsea was willing to pay. How the hell do you write an article about this saga and not mention that? This is the slimey piece of shit that owned Tevez and Mascherano.

"a very cool stunt that I'd like to have documented by a reputable news outlet."

I agree, but I wish he was back. Or, any competent executive, for that matter.

As a MLS fan I can tell you MLS fans are obsessive about every aspect of the organization. You are kind of besieged by peoples lame dissmissive attitudes about soccer, the attitude from EPL snobs, being frenemies with USMNT snobs, It makes the fans very passionate, very protective of the sport and the league and very,…

Agreed, Peter is cool as shit too. The man is a genius. He also invented Schlapst, (1/2 Schlitz & 1/2 Pabst)...A miracle man.

Yes, possession is important. Yes, Barca do it better than any team.

Strictly speaking, no, more possession does not equal domination. Barca haven't had less than 50% possession in a game in like 8 years, but that doesn't mean they've dominated every game they've played in that span.

You're right, holding the ball is what Barca do. But that, in and of itself, is not what made them so…

Ok, then you meant to say Barca are dominating possession, because they always do. They had something like 65% possession over both legs against Bayern Munich, but you certainly wouldn't call those "dominating" performances, would you?

Well don't you feel silly now, Greg?