No "Romeo & Juliet" law on a laminated card is going to work for that one.

No. Damn. Kidding. It seems like "too similar to X" is the excuse that studio honchos trot out when they just don't want to do a movie any more, even if the similarity can't be seen without a telescope and they're busy making remakes, reboots, and The Other Movie This Summer About [Volcanoes/Mars/George Washington/You…

My problem is, I can't STAND Popeye, never have since it was in endless reruns when I was a little tot and there was nothing else for my elders to park me in front of — hm, maybe that's why I would rather poke around in the Great Outdoors looking for birds, bugs and lizards than watch television, even now? — so I'm…

Or "We don't have permission to film here, we need to get this shot before they call the cops!"

The fetishizing of long shots baffles me: every community theatre and student drama group does this, every single time. With no reshoots or "fix it in post" and often with live music, not dubbed in afterwards — are the standards THAT much lower in cinema these days, that we're supposed to be wowed at the fact that…

It's the Action Reboot of Scanners, coming soon to a Redbox near you!

Who knew that Axe Cop was the Platonic ideal of Future Hollywood?

The Devil's Backbone is partly based on The Castle of Otranto, according to del Toro's commentary — he wanted, among other things, to see if it was possible to film a Gothic in a sun-drenched Mediterranean setting, instead of the customary gloomy moors or bayous so beloved of Hollywood.

I guess this settles for good and all any lingering question of whether or not Refn is one of those directors who absolutely loathes his audience and considers himself superior to the humanity he lampoons in his arty, yet empty, guignoleries.

Madness, prophecy, ghosts, feuding noble houses, dark family secrets, lurid hints of things too unspeakable to speak of, and unholy magic, going by the things that Jane Austen loved to both read and parody at the same time.

My mind perpetually fuses both of those into one movie, The Day After 2012, perhaps because it refuses to accept a universe that would let Emmerich make more than one absurdist megabudget fake nature documentary disaster.

Old people have sexy fun? What sort of crazy talk is this?

Did they actually come out and say that last part? Because reviewers have been saying exactly that about The Visit!

That was him showing his power over the coffee shop chain that rules the northeastern USA — "MUAHAHA DUNKINS! AT LONG LAST YOU DANCE TO MY TUNE, NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!!"

In I Am Legend, they're a new species of more rugged, longer-lived humans — who can't stand sunlight and must feed on blood. Think Dokkalfar or Drow — Elves don't age either, but they procreate. Likewise the ancient gods and demons of world mythology (who could also die in most religions at least at the hands of other…

Oh, so you aren't actually old enough to have a Disqus account.

Define "objectively" in the context of art criticism. You want a spoilerrific "And at 3:15 this happened, and then at 7:03 this happened, and…" IOW what you want is not actually a review.

Ooh, Eli Roth trying to film raptors, that could be hilarious, since most of the time they just sit there waiting for something to come by and be pounced on, with brief intervals of screaming "Look at me! I'm a hawk! I can fly! Whee!"

That's because he's such a towering genius, not a living example of the Peter Principle, or someone so monosyllabic and inarticulate that he might as well be a bot.

Most of Snyder's movies have the same DP, and of the ones that don't, one's a cartoon and the other is an animated film about owls. Seriously, you're bringing unrelated stuff to defend Snyder, and yet you don't seem to understand why people would be skeptical of the purported artists' output — if there is a very…