Or perhaps just realize that you are likely the only person who even notices these lines and don’t spend money on injecting botulism into your face.

Wow to the “Lover’s Stitches”. Fuck that. Being super tight may feel fun for him, but it makes it much more painful for you. Crazy me, I usually find sex more pleasurable when I’m aroused and loose enough to accommodate him, rather than trying to shove a watermelon through a pinhole (as Snooki once eloquently…

Man, that sucks. Now you have to leave your house and start your life over with nothing. It all belongs to the snake now.

Oh man, Sam Smith is such a sad sack, I can’t believe people liked his theme song.

Agree with all of this. Adele gets praised like she’s this generation’s Whitney Houston or something when she’s screwed up twice at the Grammy’s and has a very limited range. She’s great in comparison to Taylor Swift and the other pop tartlets but that’s not saying much. I feel the same way about Sam Smith who is the…

Prince gets a pass, but Saint is a ridiculous name. As is North, Reign, and Apple.

All of these quotes sound like they’ve been pulled bad 6th grade reports.

Bethenny in the background of that second gif is the most relatable she’s ever been.  

And here I was thinking she couldn’t be any duller.

How can anyone tell if Ramona Singer has a meltdown? She seems bat-shit crazy 24/7

Clearly, Karlie’s working on a new type of lettuce that’s even more bland than regular lettuce. Its name will be Taylie.

It’s a convenient “cause,” like “ending abortions.” The people you’re pretending to “fight” for can’t tell you to shut the fuck up because you’re a horrible, useless person who insults the very concept of humanity. You can claim to be “standing up” for something without ever having to show any receipts for it.

You aren’t being judgmental, but you are concern-trolling like a boss. Drinking within the recommended daily limits (which would be a glass of wine every single damn day for a woman) is the slippery slope to addiction? You will “pay the price”? Never, ever, travel to Europe. The wine industry has tricked the shit…

As usual, he is likely consumed with apoplectic ginger rage. Expect a 2,500 word thinkpiece on yogurt vs yoghurt posted to Fusion after lunch. Then squats.

You have gone and done it: found the best youtube video of the year. And it’s only June! There are tears streaming down my face right now. This is so beautiful. 

The Kardashians, the Teen Moms EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP GETTING MORE PETS THEY DONT TAKE CARE OF

It’s a Pomeranian, right? I know it’s only Tuesday but it’s been a hard two days, here’s my favorite video involving poms, for your enjoyment:

Or Proppy McPropdog.

Re: Eminem and his beard