I had a friend who was fired because the register was like 30 or 50 cents short. She even offered to pay it out of her pocket. Restaurants do not mess around.

I’m torn on this... Yeah I think they were dicks but your sister also put them on a HUGE pedestal, I think she was bound to be disappointed. Celebrity worship is bad, kids.

I really feel like this must’ve been a deadpan joke. Gonna pretend it was even if not.

PLEASE TELL I AM SO CURIOUS. Also, her show is and always has been terrible.

Stephen Lynch came to my university freshman year. He’s a not so famous comedian, but I saw his comedy central special and it was funny. So during his set he was clearly drunk, and kept making jokes about sex with college girls. He then said stuff like, “Just kidding, I’m married... Unless you’re into it.” A few girls…

Roosters, urgh. Bet those bastards tried to steal my car!

Adding that to my list of reasons to stay a pescatarian forever. Also on the list: cows are very affectionate and pigs are pretty much just tiny cuter people.

I, for one, welcome our new bird ans raccoon overlords. Seriously, they’re adorable.

Um, she said Burberry, honey. Try over three times that.

CZ looks just as good if not better. And silver looks better than platinum.

I also agree, and I actively dislike her. I’m hella jealous of her body.

Looking at the tweets, she’s referring to the inherited system of slavery, not saying Europeans invented slavery itself. To my knowledge, this is true—though there were plenty of inherited caste type systems around the world which were shitty too (though arguably not as bad as slavery).

Thanks! And no worries, I was just curious.

Where are the tweets? And from what I understand, European slavery was a different kind than other cultures. That being said, white people tend to look the worst, but anyone in power tends to horribly abuse it, we just happened to be in power for a long time.

You know, you can always google that. Here’s one that’s more your level: http://www.absolutdrinks.com/en/drinks/vodk…

It depends how busy it is. If it’s at all busy, you fuck up my rhythm/schedule. Expect to wait for your food for a long time.

Being a dinosaur would explain the poor driving skills.

Funniest thing ever, my great aunt (super Catholic) once transfered from talking about fish tacos to women. I always remember it as, “Speaking of fish tacos, how are the girls at [California city]?” I don’t think in real life she was actually that obvious though.

Kids today with their computers and ignorance of the four humors.

I think our next behind closed ovens should feature commenters not getting super obvious jokes.