Yayyyy! You missed an important part of the story, though—Liletta's manufacturers have committed to supplying Liletta to family planning clinics at below-market costs to help low-income/uninsured women get highly effective BC.

You will love that vasectomy. It's my favorite thing my husband has ever done for me.

I absolutely love my little copper baby stopper! It does make my periods a little heavier, but it's a small price to pay to not develop any squatters in my uterus.

Sometimes, late at night, you can still hear the faint ghostly shrieks of "Those pork chops aren't ringing up? That must mean they're frreeeeEEEEeeeee..."

Pretty much every major European city is build on graves. Some of London's nicest parks are on top of huge plague pits.

The cause of their deaths, however, is not known at this time.

YES!

In my experience, you can be friends with your exes granted you didn't care too much for them in the first place.

Yeah, this is true. Leave my cervix alone, long penises. That is not for you. That is mine. Do not touch. Thank you.

Old-time fairy tale weirdness is totally my jam. The darker, the better. I especially love the annotated fairy tale compilations where they explain or put in context some of the weirdness.

Sorry to hear it.

Yeah, it's totally understandable if you can taste that something is wrong.

Also, what the fuck mayo in mashed potatoes?! I've heard cream cheese, I've heard Greek yogurt, but mayo?! Ughughugh.

I like mayo but mayo on MASHED POTATOES?! What in fresh hell wrongness is that?!

Mayo in mashed potatoes? Yeah, I can maybe Google a good divorce attorney in your area for you if you like.

I'm always challenging my husband to try new things that he's sure he won't like, but I would never sneak something into his food.

Years ago, my sister was making mashed potatoes for her family, but then realized that she was out of milk. Rather than packing up her young son and infant son and heading to the store, she discovered a bottle of pumped breast milk in the fridge....
Evidently, the potatoes were delicious, although she didn't try them…

What the actual fuck. I'm a big mayo supporter, and my husband and I actually have very different sensibilities about mashed potatoes (team milk and butter/team margarine and sour cream), but mayonnaise is NOT A FUCKING VALID OPTION in mashed potatoes. He is 100% potato trolling you.

I assume he had never tried ghost peppers in his mashed potatos before?

Ug...sounds like my ex-wife. EVERY TIME I made something (which was most nights) she would ask me if there was "anything weird in it." "Weird" to her meant any sort of seasoning that wasn't Johnny's Salt, any sort of vegetable, or literally anything she had never tried before. Hint of lavender in the blackberry…