That is simply amazing. I love her.

Pssh. If she were really American she'd be wearing Betty Boop pajama pants and a love pink Victoria's Secret hoodie to an informal event. Actual clothes are for cocktail hour, church, and sex.

Can they put this in the forced birth (new fave term for pro life) billboards they have all over the US so people who are pro woman don't have to look at that shit anymore?

I don't know, I think it's funny. Anything having to do with butts is funny. Extra points if fart/poop humor is included.

As your attorney, I advise you put down Words with Friends and go to the gathering. Now (or whenever said gathering starts and it is a fashionably late time to arrive.)

I think it's funny that whoever drew this cartoon did four jars for people but only one jar for birds and trees and insects even though they are far more diverse than humans are.

Hey, I love the Dwarves. Most of that punk isn't very women-friendly, but I still loves it.

I was extremely impressed with the quality of the bouquets the floral station at the grocery store I work at at 8:45 PM tonight. If I am to buy into the hype of Valentine's Day, there will be some happy genitalia out there (I mean, let's be honest, it's about capitalizing on a person's need to be romantic to make…

Hah! If she did I'm going to send her a giant penis cake. In fact, we should all send her giant penis cakes.

But I assume they have better taste in pizza than straight guys?

Just in case your girlfriend doesn't already know you're completely insane.

Because rubbing your fingers together a la Mr. Burns in a dark cavern laughing over the misfortune of others is better than heroin?

Why would they exclude Virginia? Can't they at least make the DC suburbs a territory? I don't want to be stuck in Jesusland! *cries* I can also see Austin and New Orleans being pissed they were left behind.

It happens. Do you guys do any foreplay? I know guys who have a rough time staying hard because of medication or because of condoms, but manage to keep themselves and their men/womenfriends sexually satisfied with "everything but" and little more.

But you do get to see Kenny outside of his coat in the movie.

Tell someone not to take it too seriously and I end up taking myself way too seriously in the process. I better be careful or I'm gonna wind up on the fucknojezebel tumblr. Sorry about that, I wasn't trying to be an ass.

I think you're overreacting. Luke Malone is extremely gay and I think he understands the tone of Jezebel better than most of us could. It was sarcasm and most Jezzies are well versed in sarcasm. If no ones allowed to make an jokes about anything anymore because it might be offensive then we all really need to pack up…

That's pretty much "from life to God" summed up, imo.

HAH! Awesome. Please, try some cracker cake, I swear it's delicious. And made from real crackers!

These guys are stupid. Women are the original sports fans. Why do they think there are cheerleaders and organized sports developed in the first place? Women and bisexual or gay men are really the best as judging a man's physical worth, right? It's EVOLUTION. Duh. (This is based on actual scientific studies I swear.…