Oh yeah, I can totally see how it'd be important for while people to have their own holiday. You know, to celebrate the culture of the average whitey-McUSington that as a whitey Mc-USington, I know quite well. Observance of the white holiday includes:

Aww, that's soooo cool. Good job, you Maeved it into the big time now. <3

Replying to approve/promote.

They just finished putting up the newest signs "Celebrate love through consumerism" and "Buy shit on Valentine's Day."

Hahahaha I love that commercial. Makes me laugh every time.

HAH!!! Nice one.

Hahahaha except maybe a bit less inspirational?

More proof that this isn't Vietnam and that there are rules.

Examples of restrictive gender roles, I guess.

Pretend you are this lady, it is a viable treatment for a case of the yuckies.

Steve-O is a professional stuntman/carnie/geek who was made famous on the show Jackass. He's also a recovering addict and a pretty inspiring guy.

I hate when people say that, no offense to you. But I shave sometimes and I don't look like an eight year old because having a hairy bush is not the only thing that makes a woman's body, including her vagina, different from a girl's.

It's better than 'flesh' don't you think? Flab is fab, flesh is what the aliens take samples of when the abduct you from your romantic mountain getaway. Or the term your great aunt overuses in her trashy novel she made you edit.

I think you'll find the human body has a lot of strange dimples and crevasses when you bend it into abnormal positions, like jutting your hip out as far as it will go as the model seems to be doing. Which is why they photoshop everyone's bodies so damn much in ads and photoshoots. The completely awkward way everyone…

Yup. And then they say we're a bunch of tight-asses on Jezebel because we don't let you rag on people's appearances here. Whiners, I tell you. A bunch of whiners. (j/k I love the Gawker commenters.) Some of those Banhammers were pretty awesome, though.

I'd like to pee in Mick Jagger's mouth, too. But maybe go back in time a few decades and do it when he was at his prime.

I hear ya. Gotta eat gluten free so I make pretty much everything myself.

"I would love to visit Africa some day. That would be awesome."

"These bees and giant birds nest obviously are just a hallucination that are a byproduct of of a sleep-deprived state. There's no immediate reason to suggest anything paranormal is going on or that the government is trying to interfere with my killing of these bees."

Oh my gosh, I don't think I was one of the people who asked but I am excited to see it! How did you know I needed those things?