I live in Los Angeles, have long ass nails 80% of the time, and can train you on the ways of typing and texting. I SHALL BE YOUR MANICURE YODA.

Jesus Christ, what a bunch of butts. I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids and I don’t really like kids but I do my best to nod along supportively when people talk about their kids or show me pictures or whatever because that is basic human courtesy and also I guess it’s really nice that people love their kids? It’s…

this was a weird moment, but one night, a stray seemed to somehow have made a small knot of part of my lip. Not the lip on my face.

Wow- that was touching. I just started tearing up from how beautiful your love for your wife is. I hope that you have many happy years of finding her hair in your buttcrack ahead of you.

Thanks for the tears! ;). I am so glad she is well again!

Thanks for getting this speck in my eye. I'm trying to eat lunch. Where are your manners?!

I'm so happy your story had a happy ending! I was getting pretty nervous around the end of the first paragraph.

You can also say to him, as I say to my partner: "When I die, it (i.e., the hairs everywhere) will be one of the things you miss about me. You'll find one of my hairs and you'll hold it and cry."

When my wife was bald and in chemo, I'd have given anything to have to deal with random hair around the house. When she first started chemo, it fell out in giant clumps, leaving a halo of her naturally blonde hair on her pillow and wherever she sat. Eventually, she asked me to shave her head and that was when it all…

Try being us and imagine all the ass crack hair we find!

Believe me, it ends up in our buttcracks too. Always a surprise...😳

Also guilty of this. When my husband hands me back lone strands of hair from every imaginable and unimaginable place, I thank him graciously and place it back on top of my head. Take that, husband.

Here ya go!

I think it's just that kids that age are used to having their parent(s) do all of the interaction with other adults, so they just have no clue.

Can we make an effort to insert a "fuck you Andrew Wakefield" line into every discussion about this so people know the name of the person who kicked this bull shit off by falsifying a medical study and selling his soul and the lives of thousands of children for the chance to line his pockets?

Roger Miller's story is why I always overtip for delivery. I get pizza so hot I can't even eat it yet, and the Indian place sends a free dessert every time. Mmmm mango mousse. I don't get why anyone would be shitty to the person who is saving me from having to cook and wash dishes.

I honestly think whenever I watch TV shows involving serial killers. I love Hannibal but brah, no way you have time to spend all night elaborately killing people and still look fresh and dapper to cook a five course meal and sex Alana.

There's a special place in hell for women serial killers who don't help other women serial kill.

Serial killing just sounds exhausting. Who has the time? Who has the energy?

If I ever have a daughter, I would want to know that she can kill for domination, control, and humiliation if that's what she chooses.