The ducks at my sister's ranch are the boss of every single animal there. The horses, the dogs...whenever the ducks show up it's like "OK EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY WE ARE DUCKS WE ARE HERE TO DO DUCK THINGS THANK YOU."

I mean, it's obvious that this will going to hurt Russia WAY more than any of the other countries. Except maybe Poland. Russia imports apples from Poland. About 50% of our apples go to Russia. So yeah, the Polish apple industry is worried. HOWEVER, there has been a huge push for Polish people to buy more Polish…

"I'd feel a lot more sympathetic to the average Russian if Poot-Poot's approval rating wasn't sitting at 87%.(...) enjoy your rampant inflation and crushing starvation!"

This is why, whenever my wife snuggles up to me and tells me she feels safe in my arms, I like to remind her that, statistically speaking, I'm the most dangerous thing in her life.

eh, I've seen it both ways. I think a lot of brides falter to the pressure of having the kind of wedding you're "supposed" to have. That's why I'm always happy to see someone having the kind of wedding THEY want, not the kind of wedding they're supposed to have. I have friends getting married soon and their invite…

I visited my auntie in the rest home this weekend, and while I was there I tweezed her chin. Her roommate asked if I could tweeze hers too, so I did. Both expressed such shame and frustration about their facial hair, which they had both been dealing with for probably 70 years. It sucks that we are made to feel this…

No, sorry, but you've been badly misinformed. Women don't all have relatively the same amount of body hair AT ALL.

I bought a Tria at-home hair laser gun for just that purpose and I would highly recommend it. Much more pleasant than having some randos poke around my crotch, too!

I just grow my stuff out. A co-worker once gave me a razor as a "gift". A manage once told me that not shaving my legs was a sign that I wasn't professional. She regretted that decision. Oh, did she ever regret that decision.

Actually, considering that a lot of male rapists get less than that or are not convicted ever, I am not sure how this is reflecting a privilege of any sort, gendered or otherwise.

Uh. In all seriousness, when did Jezebel "mock Chris Brown for being raped as a child"? I am pretty sure Jezebel was big on saying "no, Chris Brown didn't 'lose his virginity' at a ridiculously young age, he was raped." That's not mockery. Hating on Chris Brown for being abusive/not allowing a truly awful thing that…

I submitted the cheese story. He was an ok tipper. 15% if you didn't piss him off, 12% if you did. Re: the dining companion: I don't know if they were dates, but doubt that they were. They were always women, but older, and they had the air of eating with one of those people in your life who you don't particularly care…

Ok, that makes me feel a lot better, since I'm pretty sure I'm nice about it!

A lovely fillet for the lady?

I NEVER care how weird people are about their orders if they're nice about it. Never. "I'm sorry, I know this is odd/a pain in the butt/not common" followed by a nice tip equals "well that was odd, but that person is nice." Because I worked in a coffee shop for ten years, when I go into coffee shops to get a latte…

When I read the first one I wondered if maybe he has a spectrum disorder, in which case having things be the same all the time might be important for him. It makes me sad if that's the case because then he gets added to the list of bad customers who make the staff mad when he's just trying to live his life the only…

Are we long losts? My family teases me to this DAY because I had an absolute breakdown when my mother put a large spoonful of mayo by my face. I started sobbing, and when she asked what was wrong (after laughing at my 4-year-old ridiculousness), I responded in all seriousness as follows: "You . . . <sob sob> You…

For some reason a lot of these make me kind of sad. People who are so specific and demanding about certain things, especially food, tend to have other stuff going on that's maybe not quite normal too. I know it sounds insane, but as someone with an eating disorder I kind of get where the coleslaw guy was coming from…

As a bi woman, I have no problem getting aroused by porn, but I do sometimes have to sift through a lot before I find something that does it for me. The No. 1 reason why is because I feel like I can totally tell when the chick is actually pretty bored, or pretty uncomfortable, and not enjoying herself. When you've had…

oh my god. This might be my new favorite site: