The couple seem like the sort of people who:

Over $125???? Nightmare people, calm thy tits. Read thy original contract. Get thee to a nap.

“LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO”

Everyone knows that people don’t kill people. People laughing at people kills people.

He absolutely thinks she “made” him murder her.

And I bet he blames her

And the wrong one is still alive.

“My life is over.”

At least with the loss of the mother. It sounds like losing the father might be for the best (though it’s horrible they were saddled with a man like this for a father in the first place).

I want to feed this guy’s dick to an orca then leave him on a shrinking ice floe to die.

Literally a Margaret Atwood quote come to life.

I the irony of McCain, a man who has been eligible for tax-payer funded healthcare his entire adult life (through the military, VA, and Congress) limping back to Washington (pre-existing conditions and all) to kill this bill is just overwhelming.

In an email to me this morning, my mom wrote “You know, I felt bad for McCain last week, but to leave his sick bed in order to take away other people’s health insurance? FUCK HIM.”

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

Mary, school nurse in Indiana: Caught her breast cancer early because she could afford to get regular mammograms

He would jerk off on his deathbed to the idea that something in the government got named after him.

Thatz not okay.

I teach High School Social Studies. Every year, I inevitably cover the Presidential power to pardon, and I always ask the same question of my classes: “Who can the President NOT pardon?” Usually, 2/3s to 3/4s of the students will answer “himself/herself.” They’re 16.

Agree it is hilarious, and also makes me HUNGRY for: The next time Sarah Huckabette Sanders says “I don’t know” in response to a question about Trump, I hope some reporter will follow up with “Do you think Hope Hicks would know the answer?”

Only Hope Hicks knew that Trump had agreed to the interview with the New York Times.