This one is good. Most of the rest are, ehhhhh.

Is there an RC Cola tweeter? Because those two would just HAVE to get together.

“There’s nothing in the world like [a big-eyed girl, makes me act so funny, makes me spend my money, make me feel real loose like a long necked goose, like a girl, oh baby that’s what I like!]”

“going to jail to protect your kid” is in no way protecting your child. that is not how it works. grow up

Dude, go ahead and wear “package accentuating yoga pants” if that’s what you want to do. You’ll probably look ridiculous, but that’s your call. I think society would carry on just fine.

Flirty Business & The News is my favorite Huey Lewis cover band.

(bobby riggs)

I am waiting for complaints against Alex Trebek to emerge. He is so condescending to women on Jeopardy, you know that he is a creep.

By way of comparison, NBC only let one employee go today.

Always keep your deceipts.

Pre-cell phone women had to do the “nervous purse dig”, where you dig through your bag like you’re looking for Narnia.

She sounds like a really deceiptful person.

He’s Greek Orthodox, so he’s got an extra two weeks.

McCartney’s song is vacuous af but doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not. I’ll take it over Lennon’s unwieldy, pretentious moral preening. 

Little Drummer Boy is my favorite Christmas song. We have this baby boy who was just born, probably the most famous birth story in history. The parents were probably pretty tired, being in a manger and all, and needed a good rest. What better gift to the parents of a newborn than playing a drum loudly in his face?

Is this going to become the fading male celebrity version of suicide by cop?

We live in a culture where we consider women trophies to be won, their objections to sex as obstacles to conquer, and interpret an absence of an unqualified, loud, and violent “no” as consent. So yeah - that probably means all of us, me including, have committed acts that the women on the other end probably felt as…

Very big of her to come out and say she didn’t have anything to do with it. She could have rode that for all it’s worth.

“They’re not always true.” - Richard Gere

I feel like when you’re cancelling movie premieres, even if what’s coming isn’t that bad that means you know you did something bad enough that you’re worried that’s what’s coming.