HAHAHAH I love this person in the blog comments:

These parents need an adult!

Hating people you don't know because of the stupid names they inflict upon their children is the rightest thing in the world.

Is it wrong to hate someone you don't know, all based on what names they would give their child?

I'm going to start blaming my period eating on my uterus too. Maybe less calories that way?

No, I didn't eat two boxes of Kraft Dinner to myself. My uterus did. My uterus also ate all those chocolate covered cherries and the jar of pickled beets.

My uterus really wants some chocolate milk now.

I'll have that report for you in the morning...

If you're wearing a garter belt, oughtn't it be used to actually hold up stockings?

Might as well throw on the bra, but not clasp the back.

i would deffo be down for some macklin/snakehole porn.

I refuse to believe this is a Vogue cover. It looks like a pharmaceutical ad for eczema medication or something.

The movie, a very alternative love story that opens on Valentine's Day weekend, might just make Dakota this decade's Vivien Leigh Gretchen Moll.

Go for the "Monkey steals the Peach" manoeuvre!

This move is less lethal, but infinitely more terrifying:

So getting kicked in the balls is similar, men trying to masturbate a woman. Good to know.

How the fuck do you "pull" canned tuna? And even more how the fuck do you think to yourself, "Yes, bbq fish. That is a good choice and I feel good about making it."

This now makes me want to create a new Pinterest board in which I pin things like this, and label them entirely with word combos from the Guy Fieri Flavortown Dish Generator like "Punk Rock Reggie's triple X pork honk with Tuscan-style beef taffy."

Thank you. For a minute there, I thought I was being unreasonable about planning ahead such a big part of two lives that are about to become one. Well, one paired life, I mean. I wouldn't enter a marriage without having had at least a couple of short exchanges, as you put it, about the big things like kids, money, and…

Hey eyes say "bedroom", the pose says "hospital".