So what I am inferring from this palette is that if I was a pledge to this sorority, I'd be expected to pick up a gallon of whatever my fave shade is at Home Depot and just show up bodypainted.

Only an approved color. If you know what I mean.

I'm sorry but you're wearing the wrong shade of pearls, I'm going to need you to go home and change ASAP.

Nuh uh. Avoid, avoid, avoid. If I was friends with one of these gals I'd gain 30 pounds asap as soon as she got engaged because you KNOW that would get you out of ever being asked.

This is actually part of Jezebel's very own Rush Week. Anna's almost made it!

I...what? What can be a great conversation starter?

I'm just imaging the hell that would be being a bridesmaid for one of these ladies.

I haven't been too shocked and dismayed by these Rush reports so far, but the no eating and no drinking rule because snack are only for PNMs?? That's too much. How awkward would it be as a PNM to be eating and having a bunch of matching girls just kind of staring back at you??

Fuuuuuck meeeee but these people sound exhausting. Who has time for this, even in college?!

So much wtf! First, it is CRAZY to police someone's appearance to this degree, but even setting that aside—what is the reasoning of the styles/colors they approve? It's totally random. Many of those hairstyles for instance are not even classic looks, they're trends, and trends from like 5 years ago (I'm looking at…

The lattes cost less than those I enjoy at Starbucks. But they are worthy.

I know, right? "Systemic influence" and "rape culture" are just like, really big words that bum me out. Like murder and genocide, so I just pretend those things don't exist either.

the "same facial features"? the kitten lacks a beard, eyes not squinty. i'm at a loss for words

Whoa... we got bigamy, leaking implants, counter lawsuits to end the marriage, and someone named Lolita?

i totally see a problem with this photo. it's the proportions of his outfit. his torso is long enough that i don't believe he's a little person (is that the correct way to say it? sorry), but the length and bulk of his pants, coupled with bulky shoes makes him look exteremly short. dress for your body, gentleman…

To the author of the email:

Not to mention all those laundry lists of requirements that were posted yesterday about hair and nails and makeup made it very clear there were no black women in the sorority.

Yes, because calling a woman a bitch and suggesting she is only jealous of sororities because she wasn't good enough to be in one is what feminism is really about...

do you honestly hate women who take rational approaches towards being successful?

Only when said "rational approaches" fail to include proper punctuation and capitalization.

That and when he said "For not believing those women, you get all the weak tea" and started tossing it in heaping handfuls. OMG, this show is going to be incredible. I'm already hooked.