(a.) That Valentino that Dianna Agron wore for her wedding is lovely, but (b.) there is no amount of cash-money in the world that could make me spend one hour with the banjoist from Mumford and Sons, let alone marry the man. Dear jeebus, that wedding must have had a lot of mason jars.

The real question is if Ivanka has seen an orange one.

I mean, I don’t blame her if she is!

WHAT WHAT WHAT.

Let’s be clear about something...

We all need to appreciate “Zero Fucks” Obama calling Trump a whiny little crybaby to the international press. I AM LIVING FOR THIS.

Hi guys, just popped in from the timeline where Weiner and John Edwards are this year’s Democratic ticket, and want to let you know that things aren’t great there, either.

That was Michael Cera, numb nuts 🙄

For the last time, Toby Maguire didn’t play Sauron. Geez!

all of that sweet lord of the rings money will help console him, of that i have no doubt.

Wait a minute! The Apple logo on the front doesn’t appear to be glowing, indicating the laptop is on...

I know I’m late to the party, but here is a truly scary story - you might say it was a matter of life and death.

When I was 7, my older sister, who was 11, started telling this story about a disembodied green hand she’d see floating in her closet at night, if she left the door open. She made up shit all the time and didn’t seem to be actually afraid of anything, so my parents, my younger brother and I just chalked it up to…

“the spirit that scared you as a child meant you harm, and you will have two more such visitations in your lifetime.”

I will preface this with the fact that unnatural movements freak me out. A lot.

“I think the Man in Black is actually Arnold”

J. Lo dumped Casper Smart because he CHEATED on her.

Dear American People,

Take some solace in the fact that no, the United States of America isn’t descending into madness or going to hell, because this isn’t a phenomenon exclusive to you. I mean, the hate, the divisionism, the “us vs. them, and they should die in fire”. It’s happening everywhere around the World, right…

Suppression of the free press...

Sorry, Patrick, the correct title was “What is Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On Jeopardy! Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason”.