Ollie’s headed to the White House. Pussy’s about to grab back.

General strike. Shut EVERYTHING down. We cannot let this go any further. Everyone in the streets. See you there!

I may actually take up pot.

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

A little song

Youre not a real person to me until youre old enough to deliver me a pizza.

And this is why Rudy Nosferatu Giuliani is a failed politician and probably couldn’t even be elected dog catcher. Thanks for your irrelevant opinion, Nosferatu.

A favorite of mine-

I have been watching the various incarnations of the nazi punch pretty much non-stop for the past day or so and they still have yet to get old. Personal fave:

Bernie will get more coherent answers if he grills a hotdog.

If you’re anti-abortion but respect that it’s your personal decision and are cool with letting others do whatever they want because they ALSO get to make that personal decision, by all means join us.

“On January 20th, I will not be celebrating or honoring an incoming president who rode racism, sexism, xenophobia and bigotry to the White House,” “The American people will never forget that when a foreign government violated our democracy, Donald Trump chose the interests of another nation over our own.”

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Having fun every weekend in your 20s is way better than doing it in your 40s.

Oh fucking fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck Trump. Fuck anyone who voted for him. I don’t give a shit if you like to hear it, Trump voters. You just steered our country directly toward the pits of hell, and if your feelings are hurt by me telling you that, good. Maybe you will think next time you vote instead of pulling the…

Can Ann Coulter have children? I always just assumed she was some sort of horrible simulacra being piloted around by a thousand angry scorpions.

It is insidious because these assholes ignore science and the heartfelt tales of numerous women who made the agonizing decision to end a wanted pregnancy because it wasn’t going to result in a healthy child!

The real reason:

I’ve read all the reasons why people can legit forget their kids are in the car. Still don’t get it. I moved halfway across the country this summer and blasted across three states with hardly any stops (except overnight in a pet-friendly motel) because my two cats were with me. If I had to stop to rest/eat, I did it…