wtf

*runs away*

No, you’re not a big hockey guy. I am a big hockey girl because my sad first thought was “right on, Canada will win”. Big hockey people like all the hockey, all the time.

He’s six months over my half plus seven, but also he’s Ben.

I had never heard of this suite life thing, but I googled and I was definitely not watching it in high school. In those years I bought a house, got married, and got pregnant. Of course I would not have been watching anyways because I’m in Canada and way too thrifty to pay for the Disney Channel. Fancy.

Oh, I’m not surprised. I used to get this free “health” magazine sometimes because I liked the recipes and instead of perfume samples it had free litmus papers with little charts to check your saliva and urine. Provided by some alkalizing supplement manufacturer of course. This is one of my more hated woo things.

I think if your blood is too acidic, you’d be dead.

Ooo! May! Happy Birthday to me!

And they just send out these scripts and they aren’t embarrassed? Wtf?

We would be close if I had the exact same job as my husband. But we’d never see each other or the kids and I would want to die because he never sleeps. There would be no point in having a house. I guess we could pay someone to take care of the pets and kids if we did have a house. But we wouldn’t be using it…

I live in Northern BC so I’m used to driving through nothing without bathrooms. Lol. Not so used to it being flat though. That’s weird. I’m intrigued by the flatness. Will definitely check out those springs!

No, I’m actually pretty jazzed because I’ve never been there. But poking fun at prairie provinces is always a good time. I don’t know how much traveling we’ll do, but we’ll be based in Saskatoon. I’m at least going to road trip to Winnipeg to see family. I have no idea what that drive is like, but it’s always cool to…

Everything about that was so awkward. I’m glad I had wine.

Yup. My kids were later (3 years old), but you know what? They are using toilets now. It was low on stress, we didn’t spend a bunch of money on pull ups, and the result seems to be the same. I don’t get the rush to potty train.

We used Pampers or store brands with similar fit when not using our cloth ones because I couldn’t find a Huggies diaper to fit my kids. I don’t know if it’s my kids that are shaped funny or what, but those damn things never cleared their wee bums.

If I did this you’d probably hear about some fuzzball-headed lady attacking random people on a plane because she thought they were monsters trying to eat her or something. Ambien and I...we do not mix well.

I wanted the Crave box anyways. CHEEZ ITS. Fucking Tapas box is pretentious as fuck.

Dude, that is expensive! Whaaaat!

You’d be surprised about those mint cookies though - we’ve had people get downright angry at us because we don’t have the sandwich ones. The mint ones are a divisive cookie. So I don’t like October because every 8/10 people ask what kind we are selling and then get all disappointed.

Yes. Brownies and up isn’t so bad for the parents because you don’t have to stay with your kids, but with the little Sparks we are expected to join them at the Walmart or Canadian Tire or wherever. My older one is on her own this year, but I still have to join my younger one.

In the fall we set up a neighbourhood stand…

Yup. We were going to winter in SC, but instead we are going to late spring in Saskatchewan. Yes, Saskatchewan is more enticing. My husband is still back and forth for week every week, but we are avoiding holidays.

Cookies should be out in a week or so. :D And also :( because I hate selling those goddam things.