Dear future fratboys of America:

And there's this thing called consideration, you obviously haven't heard of it, but we all happen to go through different experiences ; some of them disagreeable or even shitty!

Aaaaand I am officially done with the world for today. Congrats, Internet, it's not even noon yet.

Listen, I am sure this necrophiliac sea shanty has been taken entirely out of context.

Jesus christ, what have we done as a society to make this...

yeah like to see him do this to me

My BFF and I agree we both really need this shirt.

Cumberbatch and Hiddles are obviously the only two possible choices to play the lead. Shirtless lead.

OMG. I'm trying to put on potted eyeliner this morning and this woman starts to yowl like a scalded cat. I stabbed myself in the eyeball with a freaking eyeliner brush. When they started debating the premeditation point, I could feel my shoulders creeping higher and higher as I cringed in horror. Normally they don't…

PORNGHAZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize for not finding a better gif.

it looks like he's about to sexy crab-walk somewhere...

I like.

Okay, Science.

Oh, the joy of a motionless face in wedding pictures. That will really capture the emotions of the moment.

For a lot less than that they could have just hired someone to punch him in the larynx.

It also would've made for great reality TV. "Tune in tonight, for Ye Olde Time Teen Swap!"

I'm told he did. I wasn't there. Dad called me afterwards, though, absolutely pissed.

I REAAAAAAAAAALLY hope you're kidding right now.

Sorry. This was part of the courting ritual during my teens in a country town in Australia. I have since moved to France.

NO NO NO NO. I HAVE NEVER HEARD GOB JOB AND WILL NEVER FORGET IT NOW.