It's just going to be Kimye post after Kimye post. Please stay with me.

Looks like the employee benefits aren't the only thing that suck at WalMart.

I can't wait for pics of TWO tiny humans cradled in his giant arms. Sorry not sorry

To be fair, I can barely resist climbing on top of that and straddling Signor Faun.

"Robert Langdon stared earnestly, but tweedily, at his companion.

Jesus, thank you. This shit is all over Pinterest, and all the 'After' photos make these women look like porno-clowns. Put. the. Fucking. Bronzer. Down.

I am giggling like a maniac at the image of Bob suddenly sitting up and screaming that he puked everywhere. The cat is genuinely concerned (and he hates me). Bravo.

Do you think 'K. Hunt' was teased a lot as a kid?

When I was a sophomore in college, my dorm room had short "hallway" with the bathroom on the left and the closet on the right before the main room. St. Patrick's day, a little before 2AM, I came in (still pretty buzzed) to find that my good friend and roommate Bob* had come in before me. Bob was not usually a sloppy…

The scientists began by using an ultrasound along with a flat probe and a vaginal probe on "three healthy volunteers."

If you reverse the list then that's actually the agenda for my entire day.

• MISANDRY

One time I fell while hiking in the woods. I wondered...did anyone hear me?

Sometimes I feel like a tree, though.

Only when she thinks of covering herself in butter.

Poor Jim Bob. He fucks her crosseyed, gives her a shitload of children, and yet the main man in her life is STILL Jesus.

Sister-in-law, is that you???

I should tell you about the time I ran an establishment out of bloody Mary mix.

Stupid. I could almost see the reasoning for this law in a city other than NYC because nobody drives in NYC, so it's not encouraging drunk driving. And who really drinks that many bloody marys? Well other than my sister-in-law who drank 9 this weekend in one sitting.

I didn't know they renamed Hell "Boston"