You really can’t fix stupid.

Also stupid ears.

Okay, you guys. I told a long gross story, now I’m going to tell a short gross syory. Things you don’t want to hear a doctor say, but I did:

My dentist once complimented me on my graceful and delicate teeth roots. She really meant it, too.

I am not a squeamish person and have enjoyed this thread considerably, but even I draw the line at botflies.

I grew up on a farm in the country and one of my barn cats ended up with a bot fly in his neck. I watched my dad pull it out and I’m not sure either of us ever recovered. My kitty took it like a trooper though.

This is the first story to make me gasp because I was expecting... Something. That was not a worm. Anyway, I’m glad things are all clear now and that you kept a sense of humor about you. I think that’s a pretty brave approach.

I literally jumped in my chair and gasped. (Worm phobia here.) I am so, so, so, glad that Ralph and his little friends have left your... um... life.

Oh yes. I have a friend who debated becoming a nurse for pay reasons only. I was like, um that’s a very tough job to handle. She was like, well I’ve worked with kids so I’ve handled tons of blood and poop. I was like, oh honey, those are nothing on the list of bad smells. Wait for necrotic tissue is wait they all say.

This is the first time I’ve heard anyone reference blancmange outside of Little Women when I was ten. Respect.

the super painful Voldemort Wand ALL the way up your snatch kind

I kind of love your SO in this story.

I’ll spare you the gorier details but I had a very traumatic delivery when my son was born which necessitated a pretty drastic episiotomy: I dealt with it all surprisingly well — despite the absence of any anesthetic — but what really brought me undone was when the obstetrician (who was not my own) looked between my…

my obgyn once delivered a baby that was HOLDING ONTO THE IUD THAT TRIED TO THWART IT.

I’m getting lost in all those metaphors, but it all makes sense. Wish I could star you more than once for the opening line!

Gag! Every now and then I think about switching to contacts, but stories like this make me NOPE!

I’m a med student and just the other day I was reading about ear problems. #1 thing to get stuck in your ear- a qtip. #2- insects. Most common insect? Cockroach. So gross. So then I started thinking about spiders in ears, as I have a pretty bad spider phobia (my only real fear). 

The mental image I’m getting from this.....it will never leave me.

Well, it wasn’t a doctor, but my dentist told me my wisdom teeth were basically beneath my cheekbones and there was a chance they could migrate to my eye sockets.

“Nice to meet you, i’m Ben Carson”