I’m with you. I’m not wishing death on him, but I’m not devastated. It’s disconcerting how we claim to have serious issues with hateful attitudes towards the most vulnerable among us, yet time and again rally behind the perpertators. I strive to live with both integrity and compassion, however...if/when it comes to…

What comments? He said the wrong thing (which i SOUNDLY criticized) that a LOT of straight men say about their gay friends. He minimized what it exactly means to be gay, by saying “you’re gay so, what?” But even then, I don’t think he meant that maliciously. He was showing support in a VERY WRONG manner. We have to…

People are complex. His homophobia is a bad thing, but his being in a horrific accident is also a bad thing. People don't get what they "deserve." The two things are independent of one another. They both happened. Let's not assign narrative intent to the universe just because we like to feel vindicated. Bad things…

I think that any advice column has to offer advice on the basis of what the person is telling them, barring extraordinary circumstances; once you start saying, “Hmmm, I suspect you’re probably lying about your boyfriend’s comments because most guys aren’t assholes like that...”

My partner’s ideal looks something like George Clooney. I, however, do not. My ego has survived, but I won’t be inviting him for a threesome anytime. 

and checking the stove and the door lock before leaving the house is healthy, but doing so seven times in a row ritually is OCD. The difference between healthy and unhealthy behavior is one of degrees.

no need for you to prove it, it’s been amply proven, the problem is like many disorders it doesn’t “look” the same in men. Men tend to suffer orthorexia (obsession with “proper” eating), exercise bulimia (where rather than physically purging you undertake extreme exertion in a response to food binges in an attempt to…

Um, didn’t she explicitly say she didn’t hate men?

you act like the world is full of men who are perfect considerate lovers and not young men who watch way too much porn and have really unrealistic expectations about what sex is actually like because of that.  having been a straight women in her 20s who slept with more than 5 men and had to educate most of them about…

she said she doesn’t hate men though, just that she’s afraid if this pattern continues she might start to.

Dude, its a reference to a scene in Revenge of the Nerds. And yes, most people consider that scene to be an instance of rape. 

most of the comments on letter one are exactly what i expected to find in the comments from most dudes.

actually many of them are, because they haven’t had enough real life experience with sex yet to learn taht it’s not at all like the porn they watch. this is a real problem for straight women, even when we communicate openly with partners.

Dan’s advice isn’t wrong, but it is interesting that women are the ones who have to do something about men who are bad and selfish lovers. What are men doing to try to counteract all the stuff available culturally that ensures most men will make lousy lovers and most women will expect bad sex? Studies have shown that,…

At the heart of her complaint is that Burger King not only doesn’t know anything about making a burger, they aren’t bothering to ask what she wants to eat, just serving her whatever gets them off the fastest.

Certainly no man has ever posted or said anything hyperbolic or dramatic. That’s only a woman-thing for some reason or other that never gets articulated.

There are two possible reactions a cishet man can have to this letter

I don’t necessarily agree with you because we don’t know the talent pool she’s working with. For example, imagine being a sorority member who is pretty much locked in to a social circle that's comprised of variations of Treys.

It’s also possible that the men in her age group and social circles have been conditioned to take sexual cues from porn, that’s basically a succession of jackhammer shows.