Yeah, but the real achievement there is that they filmed the whole thing on Mars.

No, it’s real.

he was a vampire and she wasn’t a vampire but got pregnant but then became a vampire and then they had a baby and her werewolf boyfriend falls in love with the baby

but... but.. why did they just not suggest Ellen...?

brb never sleeping ever again

Likes Waterworld. Dislikes LotR.

OMG literally thought that was Johnny Depp before I read the caption. I mean. Dude has aged. It was a lot easier before to ignore his stale alcohol aura

My first thought when I saw Stephen Tyler was ‘wow, Johnny Depp has lost a lot of weight.’

Please just call her June Shannon. Referring to her as “Mama” reinforces her fraudulent brand, and perpetuates the idea that she’s a loveable matriarch.

Rilly? Because it made me think of that time Courtney Stodden was trying to do sexylips at her dadhusband.

No. If he tries to stand up for the new guy—a guy he doesn’t even know—suddenly he’s going to be the one to get shit on. He doesn’t have any power in this scenario; he’s not a manager, he’s a low-rung employee barely above the guy who’s just been hired. Additionally, you don’t know how badly he needs the money that…

(Editor’s Note: I have serious feels about “Tall” being the name for a fucking Small and “Grande” being a goddamned Medium. Fuck you, Starbucks, I will order a Large, not a Venti, and you will FUCKING LIKE IT)

Pizza guy, there at the bottom? That guy is my fucking hero.

Our local WIC refers pregnant women there to get pre-natal vitamins. You would think that fact you want prenatal vitamins would indicate you plan to keep the baby. But they don’t just want you to have the baby, they want you to accept Christ. God forbid you bring your partner. They took him out the room and three men…

Yeah, that’s why this line puzzled the hell out of me -

Wouldn’t a “tubular pregnancy” be non-viable anyway?

My anti-choice mother, when I told her I would be getting a Mirena IUD: "It doesn't stop eggs from being fertilized; it just stops them from implanting!" *wrings hands* Me: "I sure as hell hope so!" I don't owe anything to any goddamn egg.

Here's the proud papa