I don’t know if you’re black or not, but as a reminder: I am.

DON’T DO THE ALPHABET! I don’t know who put that idea into guys’ heads, or why they thought it would achieve anything, but seriously, don’t.

It took a pretty embarrasing amount of time for me to realize that. Now, whenever I hear that -

Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does.

Hahaha man that’s the worst. You get really excited, they get really excited, the more excited you get the more they lose control of what they’re doing, you try to wait it out to see if they’ll come back to the really good thing that you just said “don’t stop!” to, but they don’t and it’s RIP lady boner.

Yeah, too many people think “don’t stop” means “faster!”

I feel like I nearly beat my boyfriend over the head like “don’t move do exactly that DO NO FUCKING MOVE”

For me, 20 min from first point of arousal seems reasonable. This doesn’t mean first point of partner contact.

20 minutes is the average time it takes for women to become aroused enough to achieve orgasm. This process generally begins before actual cunnilingus has started, so by the time you get down there there’s maybe only more like 5-10 minutes left.

But there’s one thing, above all else, that you should remember as she gets close to orgasm: do not change what you’re doing in terms of routine and pacing.

Consistency is key for most women, so once you’ve found something that works, stick to it and do not stray from the path!

Now, I have “Tiny Dancer” stuck in my head.

Good god! that was so wickedly, sad yet hilariously apropos. Almost like it was staged. Of course the kid got over it.

I laughed, because i’m a horrible person.

I will never, ever get tired of watching this.

For the same reason people falling down is hilarious. It just is.

Yez. Lindsey Graham should not be president but this doesn’t even rate as a reason why.

That veers dangerously close to discrimination though, and can you imaging the backlash that would happen if “US Refuses To Honor Visas of Pregnant Women” became a headline?

I work for an awards show and she presented for us a couple of years ago. The dress she wore was so scandalously low cut, that to this day my boss just gestures in the shape of the neckline when she is trying to remember Dame Helen’s name.