OMG literally thought that was Johnny Depp before I read the caption. I mean. Dude has aged. It was a lot easier before to ignore his stale alcohol aura

My first thought when I saw Stephen Tyler was ‘wow, Johnny Depp has lost a lot of weight.’

Please just call her June Shannon. Referring to her as “Mama” reinforces her fraudulent brand, and perpetuates the idea that she’s a loveable matriarch.

Rilly? Because it made me think of that time Courtney Stodden was trying to do sexylips at her dadhusband.

He’ll probably will call him “Miss Graham” in a debate, or at least, I’m hoping?

YOU LEAVE MR ROGERS OUT OF THIS.

Or like, when you put a fast-food sweet tea in the fridge and forget about it and the paper cup loses its structural integrity and it leaks into a big puddle and OH SHIT you didn’t know that plastic bag encasing your loaf of white bread from the grocery’s bakery department had little holes in the bottom. AND THEN you…

He needs to see a doctor. Looks like a bad case of thrush...

Lindsey Graham has also promised that he will hold Congress hostage with threat of violence until they vote the way he wants them to, if he were to be elected President.

No. If he tries to stand up for the new guy—a guy he doesn’t even know—suddenly he’s going to be the one to get shit on. He doesn’t have any power in this scenario; he’s not a manager, he’s a low-rung employee barely above the guy who’s just been hired. Additionally, you don’t know how badly he needs the money that…

(Editor’s Note: I have serious feels about “Tall” being the name for a fucking Small and “Grande” being a goddamned Medium. Fuck you, Starbucks, I will order a Large, not a Venti, and you will FUCKING LIKE IT)

DAMN IT. I want pizza now and there is none to be had.

Pizza guy, there at the bottom? That guy is my fucking hero.

Our local WIC refers pregnant women there to get pre-natal vitamins. You would think that fact you want prenatal vitamins would indicate you plan to keep the baby. But they don’t just want you to have the baby, they want you to accept Christ. God forbid you bring your partner. They took him out the room and three men…

Yeah, that’s why this line puzzled the hell out of me -

Wouldn’t a “tubular pregnancy” be non-viable anyway?

My anti-choice mother, when I told her I would be getting a Mirena IUD: "It doesn't stop eggs from being fertilized; it just stops them from implanting!" *wrings hands* Me: "I sure as hell hope so!" I don't owe anything to any goddamn egg.

Here's the proud papa