We will need a big hall. I’ll make the wine run at Costco.

My Dad cheated with the Nanny! And now is dating someone not even 10 years my senior. All the clichés!

I would use the term “friend” loosely. That's just cruel.

KIM POSSIBLE! Now I'm all old sad.

TEAM #NOREGRET right here!

I want to eat with you. ( in full Liz Lemon “ I want to go to there”)

I had a full weekend planned of drinking and being sloppy with boy parts. But I must have offended the gods I have the FLU?!?!!! I live in Los Angeles. Cruel cruel punishment.

Pleeeeease. The true leg spreader is Tequila. Well according to my ex the only time I sucked him off is when I was tequila drunk. So...

Did it just get dark in here? Shady Booooots US weekly. That last sentence is the only one that matters in the world at this moment. Rachel, giiirl.

This is great on so many levels. Also Kit and Rose Leslie are dating in real life, making the serenade even more ridiculous.

This is wannabe Kpop gone wrong.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Everyone especially the doctor were so kind to me. That sucks that an already shitty day was especially shitty. Yay to no rapist babies!

The most life changing part of mine was being able to stay in school and graduate. And Ditto on the drugs. I actually told the doctor during that they “really should sell this stuff on the street.” Everyone laughed.

Now this burn is kind of terrible. By that I mean I was terrible and everybody loses. But a burn is a burn. So back when I was 22 and didn’t know any better I fell in live with an asshole. A kind loving, got a girlfriend while stringing me along asshole. I find out about said girlfriend the same day we meet. At a roof…

I’m in the LAST YEAR before 30 ( you can tell i’m dealing) and drink pretty everyday. The amount varies on the occasion. I no longer have a traditional job, so on days I’m working at home in the evenings 2 beers, or half a bottle of wine. If i’ve going to pull clothing or work on set I don’t drink the day before.…

"And by the time the show ended, guests were already sending out modern-day smoke signals (photos posted to Instagram and Twitter) of their favorite DSquarded2 squaw designs. "

Jesus!! I feel old. I remember all of this. Made my day!

The perfect description of what happens to me. I'm going to use that in my life. Full credit given, of course.

I guess flame me too. They suck.

#4. is actually called the cry-baby. i have done this at many a house party in my day. you're welcome.