it’s about a team of marines who go in to save a colony that’s gone silent, only to find that it’s in fact overrun by a murderous swarm of Swayzes, this time moving whole quarters up and down doors with their finger.

Also possibly because he’s REALLY good at it.

So they’re FINALLY making a sequel to the Patrick Swayze / Demi Moore movie? 

It was in Serbia, it was three months or something and I’m one of these people that loves puttering around the house. I have a nice, little, one-acre plot of land, I have my wife and my dogs and my pool, I really don’t need anything else.

When in fact we’re currently demonstrating that we can fuck it up beyond a reasonable hope of repair.

Hey, so long as your car still gets 40 rods to the hogshead, you’re probably in the clear.

How am I going to get sick when I’ve just been tying these onions to my belt, which has been the style for some time now?

There were empires in the Americas. What is now Canada and the US may not have the glamorous monuments of Meso and South America indigenous peoples, but there were large indigenous civilizations that built earth mounds in the Mississippi river basin. I don’t know enough about their history to know if they were…

She and Megyn Kelly should go cry into their millions together.

I’ve had enough of this harpy. 

Here’s an idea, cancel Columbus day and replace it with Scandinavia day, where you celebrate Scandinavian things like paid paternity and maternity leave, universal healthcare, 5 week paid vacation, subsidized childcare, free university and vikings!

Pretty fascinating that 3 wood chips, and a manual tree ring count have lead to the ultimate burial of Columbus.  Would only be topped if it was announce a few days earlier.

It’s entirely on-brand for Meghan McCain to not realize that people are being shitty to her because she’s being shitty to them. She’s the epitome of the person who doesn’t realize that she’s not just running into assholes all day: she’s the asshole.

My father would be so mad because my father raised me to be a horrible person and my father would think it’s terrible that just because, my father, I’m a horrible person, my father, they treat me horribly, my father. And my only qualification is my father. My father-father-father-f-f-f-f-father. It’s so unfair. My…

“When I first joined “The View” in 2017, I felt a connection to Whoopi. She had made a promise to my father that she would look after me...

I’m not gonna lie, I snorted at that. Meghan McCain trying to act all high and mighty but tripping over basic word usage is just *chef’s kiss.*

It was as if I had become an avatar for everything they hated about the president. It felt like the co-hosts and staff only knew one Republican — me — and took out all their anger on me, even though I didn’t even vote for Trump.

The thing about Whoopi, though, is that she yields so much power in culture and television, and once she turns on you, it can create unfathomable tension at the table.

That would have sucked.

Yikes