Wow. Glad you were able to leave. I wasn't married to my abuser but the feelings of guilt, shame and pressure to try and fix him were very strong. In hindsight I realize I learned this from my family watching my mom put up with BS. Even with close family members blaming her for what she did or didn't do as if my dad…

Can we also talk about how this need to nurture despite being abused and a victim is caused in part by society's ridiculous notion that the well-being of a family/marriage is mostly on the woman's shoulders? Or that a woman's worth is tied to her ability to retain a man period. If a guy is employed, taking care of…

It's a little more complicated than what you're presenting. In many states the state or local jurisdiction doesn't need the victim's permission to prosecute if there is enough proof to bring charges. I know back when I was a young adult in the mid-90s and in an abusive relationship I was told the state would move…

I'll let the OP speak for her or himself but a lot of black folks back in the day didn't believe Robin and felt that she was out to hurt Mike. Same with the Desiree Washington whom he was convicted of raping. Considering what we know now about his temper and mental health, I'm not sure why some folks still give Robin…

I assumed it was a basic part of sex ed everywhere, even the abstinence only areas.

She also very clearly didn't say some, a lot, these, those, a good portion, a disturbing pattern, most, a good number, women I know directly or indirectly, etc. Please stop pretending you knew her intent prior to her follow-up posts. Remember when we used to go in on the rappers/black men who use(d) bitch and ho in…

I don't read minds. I read her words. Clearly, I'm not the only one who was offended or took issue with her original post. It's not derailing as the thread has been about black women. And guess what, we can disagree and be heated about stuff close to our hearts. We are not a hive mind. Trust and believe me, Lilrock…

Yep and defended his blackface. She stay on some BS.

I'm gonna agree to disagree because I know Jews who do not blindly support Israel and its treatment of the Palestinians. Which gets back to my overall point about not painting with a broad brush. My point does not minimize or negate the enormity of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. Nor did my initial response say…

Nope. At no point have I ever hinted or implied that we need to STFU and not make our Nubian Kangs look bad. Please look at my initial comment. I said to address the violators. Look, we are bombarded constantly with negative messages about our worth, potential, expected behavior, femininity, desirability, sexuality,…

Your exact post:

Sorry, it's a public blog. You made a statement and I disagreed that all black women support vileness. Clearly a true statement. Deal. If this is obvious then why the back and forth instead of just stating the obvious?

Sorry you don't fight evil and dysfunction through stereotypes. Saying that all black women this, all black men that isn't making black feminists/womanists stronger, empowered or more effective in messaging. This is a complex problem within the community and acknowledging the complexity doesn't mean the problem no…

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I was beginning to feel like I entered the Twilight Zone. I can't believe that I actually have to defend myself for pointing out that all black women don't tolerate crap. Oh and to add to the story I was in a violent relationship myself years ago as a teen/YA. Do you know who prayed…

Wait, so Whoopi's stupid comment is proof that "black women" support black men's vile behavior? The same Whoopi who had Danson and Polankski's back. So you're going to pretend, as a black woman, that many haven't individually or collectively spoken up about such vile behavior? That it's all good and you're a lonely…

What does that even mean? Seriously. That as a black woman I should feel bad for pointing out that not all black women support vile behavior from black men? Seriously?

I'm black. The OP did not say some black women. You said you starred the comment which is why I posted to you.

I'm foolish for calling your initial statement false? Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. Can you prove that "black women" in general defend the vile behavior of black men? Do you know all black women? What's your sample size and methodology? Is this behavior unique to black women? You obviously know…

So only black women do this shit? White, Asian, Hispanic, Arab, mothers, lovers, cousins, aunts, grandmothers and left handed redheads with lisps don't ALSO sometimes support the stupid behavior of men? Who knew? I missed that in black woman 101.

I don't care if your list extends past Jupiter. You don't know all black women. Even if you are a black woman. Your point is, "some black women I know/read/watch behave in this way." True. Telling "black women" in general to stop doing something is as stupid as telling some random Jewish person to stop killing…