A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

Isn’t it?

...and

I sing along to this in the car so often I think I may find out a way to wear out the CD.

So you were kidnapped at knife point and forced to go to Bakersfield? DO PEOPLE GO THERE WILLINGLY?

Because I’m in Bakersfield tonight.

The fire spreads a-faster in debris

My current music obsession, complete with the best evil villain theme eva!

Standing would seem illogical. Doesn’t that shut the poop hole up?

Men really are fucking gross. There’s no way to civilize them.

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN TO WIPE FFS.

Pictured: the unwashed hordes of Deadspin

In the spirit of equality, let’s do a ranking of boobies.

Behold the only golf cart worth talking about: the hover golf cart.

I have also been house hunting in SE Michigan lately and at this point idgaf if there’s a shitter in the middle of the kitchen as long as there isn’t horrific clashing wallpaper and/or wood panel in EVERY room

I was househunting in Wayne and Oakland counties last year, I have seen so many free-range basement toilets.

Can we all agree that while golf is utter shit, and people who actually spend 6 hours a day watching people whack a ball are crazy, but how awesome are golf carts? They are the tops!

Can confirm. I sold my clubs at Play it Again Sports last week, after I used them exactly once. My first manager out of college sat me down and told me that I should learn to play, that even women should learn if they want to make it to upper management.

i can’t work like this, i just can’t