True story:

so, she tried to carry on his wayward son?

“Wowww pope Francis this is great! I’m going to put these missionaries of mercy right on the fridge here so everyone can see.”

Meanwhile, Calvin Harris is trying to win over Taylor Swift with vegan barbecue

Calvin needs to recognize.

thought this was littlefinger for a hot second.

I am not even a meat-eater. But barbecued salmon is all things holy and wonderful. If you give me vegan barbecue, I will glare at you and then cuss you out, your momma out, your momma’s momma out, and then throw you out of my house.

They are called lies of omission and according to my youth pastor, you will still go to hell!

OMG YAAAAS YASSSSSSS TO EVERY IDIOT COMMENTER WHO KEPT SAYING SHE WAS JUST OVERLINING HER LIPS I AM SINGING DASHBOARD’S VINDICATED AND DANCING AROUND THIS AIRPORT TERMINAL ALSO I AM PROBABLY VERY DRUNK

I like to think they dropped a comma and it says “keep it, pretty please.” As in, keep these terrible lifestyle sites on your Pinterest pages where they belong, Reese (and Blake). Pretty please?

“I created Meh Whatever to honor my past and allow others to embrace the malaise, mediocrity and tepidness that embodies what is happening in western Pennsylvania today,” says Artless.Dodger, speaking to the ethos behind Meh Whatever.

from draperjames.com: “New Orleans is the city of Draper James Girls’ magnolia and jazz dreams.”

Someone please introduce me to the random word generator that created this fucking perfect sentence, because I love it.

more like Reese Silverspoon amirite?

I am a slithery snake and how dare you insult my people this way.

No. No. Uh uh. Narp. Ewwww gross.

this guy is one bad haircut away from being tracked down by Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey

Well, if they fought to the death, one could argue that we would all win.