You’ve actually confirmed that at the stores where you shop there’s a person whose job depends entirely on assholes leaving behind sopping carts in the parking lot? Like in this situation you’re actually a hero and not an asshole?

I just don’t see what scenario they’re trying to prevent here. Does Missouri frequently prosecute well meaning grandpas for giving little Johnny an AR-15 and telling him to hide it in the closet from the parents until it’s time to hunt bear or Antifa? I thought Missouri was all about parental rights to refuse medical…

I strongly believe that colleges have no business in sports, at least in the multi-billion dollar way of the current system. At the same time I realize that for a lot of people, those scholarships are the best opportunity to get a college education, and it’s not my place to try to take that away. The long term goal…

The 2016 election sadly goes to show that racism can definitely can cause people to ignore their own economic self interest

The MAGA hat is like the anus halo of true assholes

I can’t keep track of all the Trump racism anymore, but hasn’t he expressed admiration for noted racist and antisemite Henry Ford? I look forward to a tweet about how the younger Fords are “destroying the legacy of very good businessman and defender of the suburbs”or some shit like that

I’d say voting Republican in general. 90% of the party platform is just selfish asshole bullshit wrapped in a few dirty pages of an Ayn Rand book

Trying to justify leaving the cart with a “I heard some people enjoy gathering up the carts” would make someone an even bigger asshole than just leaving the cart

I look forward to Donald losing his shit on twitter and blaming BLM and Gretchen Witmer for robbing America of footbaw 

Good thing he didn’t leave his email open, that’s how you find yourself hosting a surprise tarp and lube party at your house

Isn’t Goodyear the main American tire company? Maybe all the Trump voters should just forgo tires and drive on rims only

Trader Joes has pretty decent frozen hash browns, as do Giant and ACME

Strickland is just claiming that he injured his wrists while shoving Ujiri. 

What better way to prove that the coronavirus is a hoax than by resurrecting his corpse a second time

I was going to say I hope Jerry dies first, but we all know he’s already dead both inside and outside

At least some mortgage underwriters require a certain amount of liability insurance in addition to the usual replacement cost insurance - so it might be difficult to separate the two

He’s going to refuse to debate because mother doesn’t let him be in the same room as another lady

She’s a family medicine doctor (or at least is training to be one). My friends who are in family med actually do quite a bit of ob/gyn as part of their practice - both the outpatient care and delivering babies, so in theory she should be fairly informed about the medical issues. That doesn’t mean she knows anything…

He prefers to rub his dick in a well-used copy of Atlas Shrugged. 

How else do you avoid accidentally poking your eye out with your tactical spork while trying to eat your MREs?