It’s because the Antebellum Plantation Dioramas were all sold out

I remember my pediatrics co-residents pumping in random closets and bathrooms of the supposedly lactation-friendly major children’s hospital where we worked. Like if that’s a place that can’t get pumping right, that’s just fucked up. 

Not if you’re not white, because they’ll shoot you too and then say you both have guns. 

That’s a good way to get shot

COBRA is expensive as all fuck. Plus you still have all the copays and deductibles you’d have otherwise. Most people don’t have enough spare cash sitting around to cover 3-5 grand for the COBRA insurance and associated medical costs.

I’m sure it works better if you first turn the gun sideways!

The only time the organized religion people really care about children is when they’re sexually abusing them.

Everyone knows he brings Whole Foods apple pie and fancy paper plates

I’m pretty sure that one of the main political parties has no interest in more diverse representation in Congress or diluting their electoral votes with a bunch of non-white people

If it doesn’t have multiplayer bomberman like my TI86, I’m not interested

He should have worn the cornrow wig from that fashion show to make a point!

I think the most surprising part is that they didn’t go with blackface to complete the look

I demand that we check the Ukraine servers before we pass judgment. How do we know it wasn’t really Hunter Biden driving that car? 

It’s the same shit as “Maverick McCain”, except he at least provided one useful dramatic vote once, whereas Collins just does some performative pearl clutching before doing what everyone knows she’s going to do. Her and all the other republican senators will just end up doing their turd covered Russian doll thing when…

Oh that sucks, that’s a shitty cancer to have and I suspect he’s going to miss more than just a few votes during treatment and recovery. But if McCain managed to remain a fairly active senator with his brain tumor, Lewis can do it.

One little known part of the law is that a MAGA hat is an accepted form of ID

They would totally crucify Jesus again if it got them a few more appellate court judges

I’m willing to bet they knew about the cemetery when they built the gold course, but gave zero fucks as long as they didn’t have any slave bones sticking out of the sand pits. I also 100% believe that the golf course owners will issue a statement to the effect that the slaves would have been happy to know that the…

We had a lot of his classic movie like Trading Places and Coming to America back in the old country, with some horrendous dubbing, but I still thought he was pretty funny. Then I learned English and watched those movies properly, and was blown away with how funny and talented the man is. 

That’s how he gets the Evangelical support. Everyone knows that Jesus mocked the shit out of the disabled before he healed them