If it doesn’t have multiplayer bomberman like my TI86, I’m not interested

He should have worn the cornrow wig from that fashion show to make a point!

I think the most surprising part is that they didn’t go with blackface to complete the look

I demand that we check the Ukraine servers before we pass judgment. How do we know it wasn’t really Hunter Biden driving that car? 

It’s the same shit as “Maverick McCain”, except he at least provided one useful dramatic vote once, whereas Collins just does some performative pearl clutching before doing what everyone knows she’s going to do. Her and all the other republican senators will just end up doing their turd covered Russian doll thing when…

Oh that sucks, that’s a shitty cancer to have and I suspect he’s going to miss more than just a few votes during treatment and recovery. But if McCain managed to remain a fairly active senator with his brain tumor, Lewis can do it.

One little known part of the law is that a MAGA hat is an accepted form of ID

They would totally crucify Jesus again if it got them a few more appellate court judges

I’m willing to bet they knew about the cemetery when they built the gold course, but gave zero fucks as long as they didn’t have any slave bones sticking out of the sand pits. I also 100% believe that the golf course owners will issue a statement to the effect that the slaves would have been happy to know that the…

We had a lot of his classic movie like Trading Places and Coming to America back in the old country, with some horrendous dubbing, but I still thought he was pretty funny. Then I learned English and watched those movies properly, and was blown away with how funny and talented the man is. 

That’s how he gets the Evangelical support. Everyone knows that Jesus mocked the shit out of the disabled before he healed them

Didn’t he just very recently send Congress a very perfect letter, some say the best letter ever written by someone about to be impeached? Does he get partial credit for that?

To be fair, Entertainment Today probably has more moral authority than the majority of the religious right

I demand Idris Elba give back the sexiest man alive award after this. 

The final scene of There Will be Blood was actually inspired by Happy Gilmore

I heard Usman ripped out the man’s jaw and used it to make a small violin to play a sad song for all the disappointed racists

I would like to sign up for the Marvel fitness and nutrition plan to play the next iteration of fat Thor

I wish every time there was a payout due to bad cop behavior, that money came out of the amount budgeted for salaries and everyone got a collective paycut. That blue wall of silence would come down pretty damn quickly once people started feeling others’ asshole behavior in their paychecks

Wow, how racist do you have to be before the cops actually turn on you? 

I really want him to end up on a sex offender list for this