That’s how he gets the Evangelical support. Everyone knows that Jesus mocked the shit out of the disabled before he healed them

Didn’t he just very recently send Congress a very perfect letter, some say the best letter ever written by someone about to be impeached? Does he get partial credit for that?

To be fair, Entertainment Today probably has more moral authority than the majority of the religious right

If you’ve reached those marginal tax rates, student loans and mortgage are not an issue for you. You can keep all your rubles comrade

I demand Idris Elba give back the sexiest man alive award after this. 

The final scene of There Will be Blood was actually inspired by Happy Gilmore

I would expect no lesser move from Theon Greyjoy

I’m sure that the google executives are probably in the wrong here. But if I set up a thing to spam email an executive of some sort at my job, I’d at minimum get a strong talking-to. 

I guess we found Stephen Miller’s DeviantArt account?

I heard Usman ripped out the man’s jaw and used it to make a small violin to play a sad song for all the disappointed racists

I would like to sign up for the Marvel fitness and nutrition plan to play the next iteration of fat Thor

I wonder what the tooth fairy going rate was back then

I wish every time there was a payout due to bad cop behavior, that money came out of the amount budgeted for salaries and everyone got a collective paycut. That blue wall of silence would come down pretty damn quickly once people started feeling others’ asshole behavior in their paychecks

Wow, how racist do you have to be before the cops actually turn on you? 

I really want him to end up on a sex offender list for this

Because he’s not literate enough to have actually written it

Apparently the Church of Googling

I bought a fake 6 foot tree on sale at K-mart one spring 10 years ago, and we have used it every year. It was $50 for something that stays up in our apartment for 2 months each year (we’re lazy) and looks pretty nice. I don’t own a house, and none of my apartment buildings have allowed real trees. Growing up without a…

Cut the man a break. If you had the money and skills to build your own Batmobile/Mad Max fantasy truck like Pedo Guy Elon Musk, you’d be up to all kinds of shenanigans on the streets of LA. Haters gonna hate. 

Can the new Gizmodo editorial policy be to refer to him as “Pedo Guy Elon Musk”