There was definitely a diabolical plan by the US military to bring the Soviets to their knees by making their populace waste energy tucking pants into their socks and arguing about whether chronic Lyme exists. 

I’m sure that the placebo effect works wonderfully for pain. It does not however treat cancer

As an oncologist, I’m very glad that google has gone all in with chemotherapy, at least until someone shows me legitimate data about Reiki, juice cleanses, or whatever bullshit actually curing cancer

I know rompers are a crime against fashion and all things practical, but no airline has ever made a big deal of all the white women holding up bathroom lines as they struggle to urinate in an adult onesie.

Is there like a national shortage of assholes willing to be cops? They can advertise in any seedy reddit thread and dig up a bunch of racist homophobic people who want a gun and a badge but don’t have a record of being fired for their shitty behavior. I’m continually amazed that none of these departments think that…

I don’t have a problem with people making an informed decision about the risks and benefits of allowing the technology into their life. My parents use an Alexa to control lights and other electronics in their house and it’s a huge help with their limited mobility.

So the story clearly states that a large number of the recordings were not done with the trigger word, which is troubling.

My nephrologist friend said that the best way to help people with kidney disease is to provide reasonable health insurance so that they can get care to either prevent their illness or manage it appropriately. Increasing the number of kidney transplants does jack shit if people are not able to pay for their…

When he was complaining that he wasn’t getting invited to parties because of his bullshit political views, what he was really saying is that he wants a child to massage his balls through his underwear just like at the Epstein parties

Articles like this always bring out the “I’m not committing any crimes, Google and Amazon can listen to me farting and cursing and my kids singing old mc donald” idiots.

Well, he can always be a Fox news commentator. 

So is meth

The Knicks would like a word with you

Has he gotten fired yet? I’d like him to be fired and his wife to divorce his racist ass and raise that reasonable-sounding child properly 

The only correct answer is a global ban on gender reveal parties

it’s all a misunderstanding, throwing a chair is just how one tries out for a bullpen job with the Mets

If any of these people ever go see Hamilton, they will self combust. 

I showed this to one of my IT friends, and he pointed out that the director of IT often has no actual IT background, but is often a political or corporate hack. Just curious whether this is the case

People who double park or park in bike lanes should have their windows smashed in with a brick. My fat ass doesn’t ride a bicycle, but I hate people who think their time is more valuable than everyone else’s 

Every time a black person gets shot at, they’re guilty of attempted murder. You never know when one of the dozens of bullets might bounce off and graze a police officer. They really should just stop resisting and take all the bullets like they’re told