It’s a legitimate question. My wife would be on call for one week out of every 3. Most nights there are no calls, but usually when people called it was of the “you need to be here within 20-30 minutes and tell us what to do in the meanwhile” kind of thing. Vibrate is all great, but you can sometimes miss a call if…

I don’t understand why they were locked into leaving the field untarped. Like did the entire organization travel to New York, and nobody was left behind to put the tarp back? It’s like 2 hours away!

You wrote thousands of words about the Eagles and Philadelphia without once mentioning either cheese steak or scrapple. Everyone in this fucking city smells like they’ve been hiding bits of these local meat delicacies in their fat folds for the past 20 years. Biding their time, enjoying the smell of ripening meat…

A more appropriate punishment would be public pelting of Goop Inc. leadership with said vagina eggs

The tl:dr version of that editorial is basically “I value conservative priorities like tax cuts, expanding the miltary, and packing the courts more than I care about democratic rule and the Constitution. But I value my job above all else” 

You can’t cut down all the trees, but you can maybe not encourage your kid to climb one. Kids fall out of trees and come to the ED pretty often as well.

It’s not a question of parenting - if you land funny and fall over, and hit the edge or fall off the trampoline, you’re going to hurt something. Honestly, my toddler randomly just runs into walls, so you can really get hurt doing anything. There’s definitely unsafe stuff you can do on a trampoline to increase your…

Our emergency room on any given day when the weather is nice sees at least one kid with a fracture or worse from trampoline accidents. I’m all for letting kids have fun and not parenting them into a helpless infantile state, but there’s no way I’ll ever let my child go on a trampoline. It’s like a motorcycle, people…

It’s  more like a circularized human centipede 

I too occasionally find myself accidentally spending a quarter million dollars that I thought was mine, but really belongs to various industrial assholes

It’s still crazy to me that school nurses can’t have a vial of epinephrine and be able to draw it up and administer. Sure, it’s not as quick as an epi pen, but it seems like better than having 20 kinds in each school have to have their own stashed in the classroom. You can even have the standard 0.3 or 0.15 mg doses…

I shave with a straight razor, and a few times as I’ve needed to trim down there I thought about just taking a shortcut and using that, but thankfully always thought better of it 

When I was 8 years old, I put a suction cup on my forehead for like half an hour. Then I discovered a massive perfectly circular bruise right in the middle of my forehead. Nothing was really hurt except my dignity, as I had to tell my parents and classmates that an icicle fell on my head

Can’t be worse than a well-done steak

Thank you, that was very informative! I actually learned something on Kinja today

I don’t lift anything heavier than a donut, or when pressed, a small child. Can someone who knows what they’re talking about please enlighten me on this guy’s form? Because it looks like he’s lifting with his back, which seems like how you pop a disc.

Can someone identify this guy? Just so that neither he nor his children or grandchildren will ever be able to play in a pickup game

Forget the whole insulting a hero thing, calling someone a pedo is something done by idiot junior high school boys. It’s certainly not something we should expect or tolerate from the CEO of a major company. Being an adult and acting like that should appropriately lead to loss of employment and general shunning from…

The three immunopriviledged organs are the brain, eyes, and testicles. It’s hard to make a good connection between them, but one theory I’ve heard is that these are the places where swelling from entering immune cells would be a problem due to limited space. Another theory is that these are places where you want to…

It just takes 2 games for Lebron to donate enough blood to transfuse the rest of the team