Huh, I guess that means my fantasy football options of kickers I recognize are just Vinatieri now

Wait, what? Alkalinizing urine does help get rid of uric acid, but the way to do that is to take in lots of a base like sodium bicarbonate, not acid. In cancer patients with dangerously high uric acid levels (from breakdown of cancer cells), we put bicarbonate in the fluids to help alkalinize the urine, so giving…

The best way to get a new team on your side is to trash the last team you played for. Talk shit about how their fans suck and their women have pancake titties. If that doesn’t work, then just like prison, you pick the biggest, baddest dude on the team and you kick him in his fucking teeth.

When white people do this or leave their guns out for their children to shoot themselves, they’re just exercising their second amendment rights, not being negligent

Ugh, fuck the Catholic church so hard. Nothing good has come out of that den of self-righteous assholes

I’d be worried about crashing a car worth 10 times the GDP of Latvia.

I, for one, welcome our turtle overlords

I don’t know why we expect so much from a guy whose job is to dribble a ball and throw it through a hoop. For some strange reason, our society idolizes guys who throw or dribble balls rather than scientists, doctors, lawyers, or anyone else possibly more deserving. Some athletes can do more than play sports - that…

The same teacher was later seen asking a Jewish student if he was hiding horns under his yarmulke

Good. Fines are one thing, but jail time is a whole other level of threat that should make business owners think twice before trying to screw over their workers. Now we should just extend this to other industries and really start to crack down hard

Now they’re going to try to ban both Muslims and environmental inspectors.

Ugh, this. In college, I was on the family cell phone plan, but for all other expenses, I was basically on my own. Had to work 1-2 side jobs at all times to pay for books, food, transit expenses, and anything else that my (thankfully generous) academic scholarship and financial aid didn’t cover. You really do lose out…

When they’re white, they’re called protesters. If they’re brown or black, they’re called thugs or terrorists.

Tight glittery hair tie probably rubbed against the skin on her wrist until it causes a break. These things get wet whenever you wash your hands while wearing the hair tie, and then pick up all kinds of shit (literally). Not a good combination. I feel bad for this lady, this is not a great place to get an infection

I saw a headline and for a second was annoyed that Deadspin is showing old stories. Then I realized that it’s just that the Patriots keep cheating.

Ugh, I hate this LW so hard. For my wedding, groomsmen wore whatever darkish suit they owned plus matching ties I got them. The bridesmaid wore whatever black cocktail dress they owned and found flattering. Nobody had to pay more than 50 bucks to travel for the wedding. The bachelor party was a cheap outing in…

Window guards would have also saved her life.

This is a scientifically bullshit post. Please don’t offer thirdhand health advice that you find by googling “miracle cures for belly fat”. Stuff like this doesn’t really go well with your many other excellent posts.

The more experienced players know that proper technique is to wait until you’re in an elevator to throw the punch. Bars are for rookies

Just to be clear, nobody is taking away your right to choose not to vaccinate your kids. We’re just taking away your “right” to have your kids pass their 19th century diseases to other people who are just trying to get an education