Sorry, but there are no acids in your breath, at least nothing that can damage glass or lens coatings.

The nights when you're drinking the really crappy booze are also the nights that you drink so much that you wake up the next morning curled up in a puddle of vomit in your building's elevator. That probably contributes to the hangover more than the cogeners. And seriously, why are people still trying to take that…

Well, nobody is going to be grabbing at that facemask unless they want a few broken fingers.

Gosh, the inhumanity of having to wait more than 20 seconds for a machine that will do your walking for you

I guess you have to retire things once you hit 1 million miles

The story I got from my college biochem professor (who was apparently bff with Linus Pauling) was that Rosalind Franklin had submitted a paper with her interpretation of DNA structure before Watson and Crick. Except hers turned out to be wrong, and she stopped publication once the W&C model came out.

I've seen a few corneal transplants, and it's pretty cool, but the weakness is definitely in having to use human tissue. If they can make quality artificial corneas, it'll be a huge advance in ophthalmology.

Nothing pisses me off when I'm hung over like the sound of a spoon clanking against a mug. Except maybe burning my fingers with hot coffee as I try to spin my coffee mug to avoid that clanking sound, and also getting that coffee all over my kitchen and clothing.

Definitely a Seinfeld reference. And coming from Ukraine, I can say that it's pretty weak

I call bs on everyone here who claims that their kids are too smart to eat magnets and anyway they don't leave their magnets laying around. Having actually spent time in a pediatric emergency room, I can tell you that kids of all economic and social backgrounds put shit in their mouths (and noses and ears). It's how…

Yea, because everyone knows that the best way to make a ton of money is to do climate change funding. It's just like investment banking, but you only come in for the 20 hours a week that it takes to just make up enough stuff to keep you funded. Then it's off to the golf course, where the weather is pleasantly brisk…

Doesn't seem that unreasonable. There are lots of old castles in Ukraine that apparently use egg yolk mixed with sand as a form of cement. But then again, maybe that's why the Ukraine is weak

These are not the gifts you are looking for

It's quite easy actually

Brought my fiancee home for Thanksgiving with my Russian family. This was the first year that the normally fairly traditional meal was adulterated by things like guacamole and rounds of tequila shots. Then my stepdad took all us kids into the basement to shoot a crossbow at a target mounted perilously close to the…

I still have my TI-86 that I got for pre-calculus in high school (1998). Works perfectly, and has gotten me through college calculus, physics, chem, physical chem, and some grad school stuff, and now get used on a regular basis in lab. You can shit on them all you want, but they are amazing machines and are built to…

No sympathy for this guy. Back in the day when I used to drive an ambulance, I would have no qualms about whacking off the mirrors of assholes double parked on narrow NYC streets. You got 30 seconds after my honking/PA announcement, then I'd just go through, making sure I was far enough from the people who were…

This is fantastic. With the quality AT&T network, I can now look at what is essentially a still photo and listen to garbled voice whenever I wante

Chances are that the residents taking care of you in the hospital consult "Dr. Google" as much as you do. Seriously.

This is useless in a clinical setting. Good phlebotomists work by feel, since the superficial veins that you can see are generally crappy for any decent size IV. And if a good phlebotomist can't find a vein, you can go for the deeper veins with ultrasound guidance.