Turbo wedgie incoming. But no, First Contact has a special place in my heart because it features a brief cameo by my favorite TNG background character, Barkley. The nerdiest nerd in star trek lore nerds out all over the inventor of warp speed. What's not to love?

Man, Search for Spock is just the biggest turd. It's an entire movie devoted to one simple retcon that could've been handled just a tad better. It also totally wastes Christopher Lloyd as a Klingon commander.

If I ever purchased Spelunky on Vita I fear I'd never get anything done again in my life. The idea of having Spelunky everywhere? It's just too tempting.

Obviously, next year I'll still be playing Spelunky because Spelunky is the kind of game that God would play if he played games.

It's a Matryoshka doll you perv! So it's actually like 5 sex toys wrapped in one!

Papers Please is the world's most realistic ANXIETY ATTACK simulator. "Oh god, I have to stamp more people, oh god, oh god, what's the issuing city again, oh God is this guy part of the Circle, oh shit! I missed his weight on the ID and omgomgomg I'm having a heart attack!!! Glory to Arstoztska! *dies*"

It was supposed to be the AAA game that delivered us from the AAA malaise we're currently trapped in. I think and the reviews and hype portrayed it as such and then when everybody took a step back it was just a shooter with some damn fine art direction, the hype train came crashing down hard.

If anybody actually believed a system based on android free-to-play was going to work I have a bridge in Ivalice I'd love to sell them.

The Bioshock Infinite backlash has reached levels I never thought possible. It didn't have the most engaging mechanics in the world but there are actual critics saying that if you put it on your top 10 you should quit video games journalism. Sheesh.

Yeah, iOS has the iPad which is a natural fit for board game ports and there's really not many tablet Android games but due to Google Play's very low bar to entry there are a lot of obscure games in there so I'm sure you can find something that'll scratch that itch.

The most played games on my Android phone are Time Surfer (a fun, endless runner type with a rewind-time mechanic), Canabalt (the OG endless Runner), Punch Quest (endless runner but with punching RPG elements), spelltower (like a crossword puzzle and tetris had a baby!) and Angry Birds Star Wars (it's actually really…

Xenoblade and Wonderful 101 were made by third party studios (Monolith Soft and Platinum Games respectively) which means in terms of in-house games, Pikmin is as new as it gets. And Pikmin came from Miyamato who birthed basically all their major franchies. What Nintendo needs to do is try and foster a new Miyamato…

Yeah, but on the flip side of that SSBM is it's own special kind of drug.

Farming Humanity might be more work than just farming souls and using those souls to buy humanity from the various shopkeepers. I think the guy in that tunnel in the beginning who sells moss sells it pretty cheap.

Super Mario Sunshine is a goddam masterpiece, and I love the FLUDD because it adds just enough of a tweak to the way you pilot Mario to really make the game sing its own tune. Not to mention that when they take it away for the challenge courses, it makes you realize just how tight the controls for Mario on his own…

Super Monkey Ball multiplayer requires a very specific mindset. You can't go in expecting an equal battle of skills as you would in Smash Bros. You can expect to get knocked out, for seemingly no reason, and without any way to stop it, because that's why it's fun. The game's round are over in like five seconds and…

I have looked at the crafting recipes in that game and simply accepted that I will never even make the prerequisite materials for half of them. Still, I got a sharp stick, fire and a berry farm so I'm at least cro-magnon in my development!

I'd like to point out that the two best-selling, highest budgeted AAA games of the year both had interactive pup companions (Chop from GTA V and whatever the murder dog is called in COD: Ghosts). Hopefully this is a trend and by 2018 all human avatars will be completly replaced by dogs. Imagine an open world game…

Woof, I can un-bate my breath now. I was getting a bit worried there… Also, Pokemon entering the 21st century 13 years after the 21st century has begun is such a Pokemon move of it.

Wait for the winter sale and Proteus'll be like 5 bucks. If you got a solid 45 minutes Proteus will give you your 5 bucks worth and then some in transcendental enlightenment via glowing frogs.