Would that it were so simple.

Yeah, it’s a teaser, but with all the rumors about Lucasfilm’s weak opinion of the kid’s acting skills, you’d think they would want to showcase the best of him as Han Solo in this trailer to dispel those rumors. Instead, they hid him. I have a bad feeling about this...

I didn’t watch Jurassic World, but do we not have guns anymore? It seems like the best anti-dinosaur tool is the MILLIONS OF GUNS we’ve made

I like Russell Brand, but am very much hoping this is more of a stand-up special than another political rant. He seems well-intentioned, but in a college-freshman-who-just-discovered-Chomsky-and-wants-to-spend-the-whole-party-talking-about-how-we-can-change-society-maaaaaaaan kind of way. It’s a bit much

My last CD buy would have come sometime around 2004. I want to say Hot Fuss by The Killers?

While I usually poo-poo going all digital for TV shows and video games, I have gladly gone all digital for music. Haven’t bought a CD in about a decade.

Janitor Charlie Kelly may not be able to read, but he can absolutely teach a course on Bird Law.

AP Bio is a great place to learn the D.E.N.N.I.S System.

I believe that “big line” you’re referring to is called a taint.

It’s a combination Mario Brothers/Jingle All The Way reboot where Mario is trying to get an NES Classic.

I except no substitutes for Bob Hoskins as Mario.

The person who said it was one of the few in the political arena in recent years I felt had any sense of integrity. Michelle Obama is one of the very few who could ever say it without making me roll my eyes.

When the president starts doing racist impersonations of Asian people, demanding everyone pay attention to them at all times, and says the absolute wrong thing at the wrong time, will Jack Ryan look at the camera and shrug?

Jim Caviezel has confirmed that his Jesus Christ will be back for The Passion Of The Christ 2, even though he totally died in the first one.

*”Turn Turn Turn” starts playing*

This is bullshit. Everyone knows that Wonders Years was cancelled because Paul quit the show and became Marilyn Manson.

FYI - Superman doesn’t reverse time by making the planet spin backward. He flies faster than the speed of light, and the planet going backward is a visual representation of time reversing.

Maybe he’s not going because he’s an introvert and he’s got a Brooklyn house party to attend

A YouTube video with nearly 900,000 views titled “Why Anthem Should Scare You | Has EA Destroyed Bioware?” just miiiight be the type of thing that the second-to-last paragraph of this article is talking about.