It takes two to make it outta’ sight!!

Maybe he thought the Ankle Monitor would have a “zeroing” method to adjust to his base BAC. Then when he was at .08, it would show -.32!!

Trump was ready to join in on the war but darn those pesky bone spurs!

See what happens when some Glory Boy doesn’t understand the history of the situation and instead tries to make the game all about him by daring to get on base??

I bet these women aren’t strangers to burning a lacrosse on someone’s lawn either.

The family is threatening to move the funeral to San Antonio.

Who Dead!

How I was at 16 would probably be a whole lot different if someone had shot up my high school and killed a bunch of my friends. Don’t be dense.

Where I live (IN MICHIGAN, I KNOW ALLLLLL THE FACTS), there’s a feral cat sanctuary behind the divey rock bar several blocks from my house. It’s not like a state sanctioned feral cat sanctuary because that would be insane, but there’s a slew of volunteers who make sure these cats have food, water and cat boxes to…

“.....he was diagnosed with a broken femur, a broken pelvis, internal bleeding, bleeding on the brain, nine fractured ribs, and a broken neck.”

I have it on good authority that thousands of Muslims will be celebrating in New Jersey...

Reminds me of when Kentucky’s coach had to grab the mic and tell the couple fucking in the bleachers “quit, cousins.”

Dwight Men Can’t Jump

The halfpipe is, quietly, one of the Winter Games’ most dangerous events.

Republican in the front, skinhead in the back.

It’s friday.

I bet these sorry NBA officials didn’t even call that a charge.

Yeah, but he was a Cardinal, so no doubt he covered it up The Right Way.

By way of comparison, NBC only let one employee go today.

Asking me to choose which stadium scam I dislike most is like asking me to choose which of my children I dislike the most, by which I mean I hate them all equally because they make my life a living hell.